Articles & Tips

Kathy and Larry love to offer practical ideas and inspirational thoughts to encourage and bless you! Log on frequently to this page to get a burst of motivation and a dose of support. A new article is added at the beginning of each month.

Announcement
Kathy & Larry are currently on Sabbatical, therefore, they will not be adding any additional articles on this page for now. But they hope you enjoy their past articles.

1 Chronicles 16:29 tells us, "Give unto the Lord the glory due unto his name: bring an offering, and come before him: worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness."

As I meditated on that verse, I began to wonder, "How is beauty related to holiness?" I began researching and first noticed that different translations indicate that 1 Chronicles 16:29 is talking about God's holiness being beautiful (NIV) and others refer to us wearing holy garments (The Message, NASB, Amplified). Bible commentator Matthew Henry says, "worship him in the beauty of holiness, in the holy places and in a holy manner, v. 29. Holiness is the beauty of the Lord, the beauty of all sanctified souls and all religious performances."

Then I tried to define beauty. When I think of something that we call beautiful, like a face, I think of something that is rightly aligned and in right symmetry. The dictionary defines it as, "the quality attributed to whatever pleases or satisfies the senses or mind, as by line, color, form, texture, proportion, etc."

If holiness is described as something beautiful (pleasing and satisfying), then I'm wondering why wouldn't I want to be holy and worship a holy God in holiness? It's the most wonderful thing there is. It brings an abundant life, wisdom for challenges, confidence through trusting God, and the fruit of the Spirit.

How about you? How is mediating on the beauty of holiness meaningful to you? How is it motivating to make holy choices? How have you seen that choosing holiness brings beauty into your life?

And do you know what the best thing about the beauty of holiness is? It never changes. The beauty that the world regards has changed over the centuries. Plump bodies used to be painted in pictures hundreds of years ago as the ideal yet today we value being thin. In different cultures, people have different definitions of beauty.

Yet, how wonderful that God's definition of holiness never changes and we can experience its beauty without fear that we don't really know what we'll receive. We'll receive all the blessings that God wants to give us—and so much more.

I couldn't believe it! I was emailing my weekly Princess message and suddenly my email server cut me off! Aaarrgghhhh! This had happened in the past when the "system" interpreted the multiple emails as SPAM—even though the people receiving the emails had requested the message. So frustrating! Now, I not only couldn't send out my Princess message but for the next 24 hours, I had trouble receiving and sending all emails! It took forever! Even after multiple contacts with the support people, I still couldn't get the problem solved. I was so frustrated! Have I mentioned I was frustrated?

But then I remembered what I'd committed to in my devotional time that morning: TRPFAW! That's what I came up with when I studied the armor of God. I started calling it "trip-faw" when I listed the different aspects of the armor:
T: truth (gird loins with truth)
R: righteousness (breastplate of righteousness)
P: peace (shod with preparation of the gospel of peace)
F: faith (shield of faith)
A: assurance (helmet of salvation)
W: Word (sword of Spirit, word of God)

Ephesians 6:13-17 says, " Therefore, take up the full armor of God, that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming missiles of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God" (NASB).

In my devotional time, I'd tried to get a handle on applying those verses and came up with this application:
Belt of truth: what is the truth in this situation?
Breastplate of righteousness: what is the right and godly reaction?
Feet shod with preparation of the gospel of peace: I have peace with God and I can also seek peace with others.
Shield of faith: I believe God is in control.
Helmet of salvation: I am not condemned. I'm assured of my position in Christ. Nothing can steal that away and nothing can separate me from God's love.
Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God: What does God say about this?

As I meditated on those principles and put on the full armor of God, I didn't get upset about all the email problems. In fact, the next morning in my quiet time, I wrote in my journal: "I passed the test! Even though I dialogued by email with two tech people and talked personally to two other tech people, I never got upset about the frustration. I could sense so clearly that it was a test. And when I initially didn't get hooked, I sensed Satan wasn't giving up. He was thinking, 'She'll cave in when this goes on long enough.'

"But then I rehearsed TRPFAW over and over again. I concluded, 'God, if you want me to 'waste' my time in this way, then OK. I'm your servant. My time belongs to You. You know how much I have to do and You've allowed this to happen, so there's nothing I need to get upset about.'"

Putting on the armor helped me " stand firm against the schemes of the devil" (Ephesians 6:11) and after 24 hours of trouble, my emails began sailing through quickly and easily.

How about you? How can TRPFAW empower you to trust God more and grow in holiness more?

My husband, Larry, looked through his binoculars and spoke into his police radio, “Rick, see the man with the three bags exiting the store? Store security just called to say he’s a shoplifter. Close in now.” My husband was a sergeant of an undercover police task force watching for shoplifters, car thieves and carjackers, and once a year, I was allowed to ride along with him.

As I watched, I couldn’t help but think of 1 Peter 5:8: “Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (NASB). Although Larry watches for criminals to bring them to justice, Satan watches you and me for opportunities to tempt us and lead us into sin. Unless you and I are alert, we will be destroyed by his schemes.

When we’re alert, we’ll be able to “STAND firm” (Ephesians 6:13 ) with this strategy:

Since I’ve been talking these past several months about my battle against sugar, let’s apply this STAND principle to that temptation in my life.

When I apply the “S: See Satan’s schemes” of the STAND principle, I’m more alert to recognize that this isn’t just about my cravings, it’s about a spiritual battle. Whatever temptation you’re facing isn’t just some benign desire but your Adversary’s scheme to “devour” you.

The “T” of STAND states: “Tell yourself the truth.” I must remind myself that sugar isn’t good for me and state the reasons why: I’m more irritable and tired when I eat sugar. At times, I’ve even come down immediately with a cold.

The “A” of STAND means: Analyze your thinking to see the roots of temptation since it can be based upon past experiences. For instance, as a child, I was not allowed to have sugar unless it was a special occasion. Although that was wise, I formed a connection between sugar and the love and fun of special events. Understanding that sugar falsely represents comfort and excitement helps me to turn to God for my true needs.

The “N” of STAND is crucial: Name the advantages of resisting this temptation. If you’re struggling with lust, what are the advantages of staying pure? If you’re struggling with workaholism, what are the advantages of paying attention to your family? Write them down and refer to them often. I frequently rehearse the good things that happen when I resist sugar: I’m able to deal with stress better and my body is more fit for the Master’s service.

The “D” of STAND offers: Determine the godly response. If we haven’t yet sinned, run away from the temptation—mentally, emotionally, and/or physically! Each time we do that, we grow stronger. But if we have given in, then quickly confess and claim God’s forgiveness and cleansing. Then count on His empowering for the next temptation.

Yes, we do have an enemy and he is even more diligent than the watchful eye of my husband’s task force members. But we can STAND strong in God’s mighty power against temptation.

It seemed like I didn't have any choice in my reaction. I had signed up to bring goodies for our adult Sunday school class even though I knew I would be out of town the week before. But that wasn't a problem. I already had in stock the treat I would bring.

So when I returned home to find several calls on my voice mail from the woman in charge of snacks, I wasn't surprised. The first one asked me to call her to verify I was bringing snacks. The second one said, "I haven't heard from you so I guess you're not home to bring the snacks. I'll get someone else to do it."

I flipped! How dare she think I'm not dependable. Am I stupid or undependable that I would sign up for something I don't plan to do? I felt angry, as if she had called me a liar. I wanted to walk into that room on Sunday morning bringing a snack just to show her I was indeed dependable.

When I told Larry about what had happened and how upset I was, he replied, "Well, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Why are you so upset?"

After I calmed down, I felt a little embarrassed about my strong reaction, but I still didn't know why I'd reacted like that. Why was it so important to me? I couldn't really figure it out.

Recently, though, I read a book and attended a seminar based on the material from that book that has shed some light on my reaction. The book is Understanding People by Christian psychologist Larry Crabb. He explains that overreactions usually occur because of painful or negative experiences in our past that created sinful strategies in our thinking, meant to protect ourselves from pain or being wounded again. As I considered that concept, the puzzle pieces of understanding began to come together.

When I was in the third and fourth grades, I had Mrs. Leighton as my teacher for two years. I loved Mrs. Leighton and I was "teacher's pet." Everyone knew that she favored me and I reveled in the importance that gave me. I sensed that she appreciated my dependable and conscientious nature. I took great pride in that also.

But one day I spoke negatively about another student that was heard by several students. One student told Mrs. Leighton. Mrs. Leighton came over to me in the presence of the other students and asked, "Kathy, did you say that?"

I felt boxed in. If I told the truth, would Mrs. Leighton still like and favor me? As the students stared at me, waiting for the confession, I made a decision. I said, "No, I didn't, Mrs. Leighton."

Mrs. Leighton smiled and walked away, while I cowered under the dagger stares of the other children. They knew the truth about me. I was a liar and undependable, not to be trusted. I regretted my decision and felt humiliated.

That incident (and maybe there were others before that that I've forgotten) formed a sinful strategy within me that said, "I must prove that I really am dependable and that I'm not a liar." As a result, I tried to act even more dependable and never tell a lie from then on. I tried to be perfect so that no one could say anything negative about me.

Now, that might not seem so bad. But it had nothing to do with God, with trusting in God, and in seeing myself through God's eyes: as a person of value, not based on my performance but on a relationship with God.

This incident was only one of many in the following years where I tried to cover my inadequacies with the veneer of appearing perfect. Thus, my perfectionism was deepened over and over in my heart. And whenever anyone seemed to indicate through their attitudes toward me that I wasn't dependable, that I wasn't perfect, or that I might not be telling quite the whole truth, I overreacted, trying to prove that I really was!

Thus, when the woman from our class seemed to indicate I had been undependable in signing up for something I couldn't do, I overreacted with anger. Her "message" threatened my value. In that moment, I couldn't trust God enough to look to Him for my value and importance, knowing He knew the truth about me: that I had dependably planned.

As I've been working with this new insight, I'm seeing the connection with holiness (read the next article). So often, we want to respond in holy ways, but we react instead in unholiness: anger, fear, hate, discontentment, a critical spirit, impatience, and many other responses that we know aren't honoring to God. And it seems like we didn't have any choice in that reaction; but in reality, we were triggered by the sinful strategies we've formed to protect ourselves from pain.

As you consider the painful experiences from your past, can you see connections to your current reactions? There may be more going on below the surface than just the incident you're facing. Pray and ask God to reveal what might be fueling unholy reactions.

If you would like to share your discoveries with me, check out "Holiness" which will give the instructions for responding (or if you haven't yet become a part of our dialogue on holiness.)

Now, unless you've gone to a restaurant like Cheesecake Factory with me, you most likely can't imagine the significance of that statement. (By the way, at Cheesecake Factory they offer over 20 different kinds of cheesecake. Oh no, now my mouth is watering). You see, sugar has ruled my life for many, many years. In fact, all my life, I've struggled with valuing sugar to excess. As in, thinking throughout a meal, "What's for dessert?" and "Is anyone going to find my sugar stash in the pantry and eat it before me?" And like...getting angry if anyone does!

If you aren't a sugar fiend, then you're most likely thinking, "What's the big deal?" For me, it's primarily the control that sugar has over me. I think about it all the time and feel like it's more important than God sometimes. It's an addiction—I must have my "fix." Yet when I do, it can create irritability, weight gain, and even more cravings.

In the past, I've abstained from sugar for periods of time, even one time for a complete year in 1990. But lately, I've found it more difficult to make such a sacrifice. I chalked it up to older age and less self control! Hormones and the like, I rationalized.

But last August, I'd felt like, "Enough!" And for some gracious empowering from God, on the morning of Wednesday, September 1st, 2004, I committed to abstaining from sugar. Something clicked and it was almost easy to decide, "Sugar is not an option." And the past four months have been wonderful! The freedom I've felt has been liberating. No longer do I have to make a decision about whether to have dessert—it's not an option. And for the first time, I'm truly not needing the fix. At times, I've literally danced with joy because of the freedom of the lack of control sugar has over me. And of course, I've thanked God over and over again for this gift. In fact, I feel closer to Him than I have in a very long time. It's as if a sheer fabric has been shredded that had been a slight block to our relationship.

Have I been perfect? No! I had quite a bit at Christmas but I'm back "on the wagon" and the commitment is easy again.

But this discussion about sugar isn't really the important point I want to make. What I thought as I enjoyed this freedom from sugar and a new closeness to the Lord is, "I wonder if this is what personal holiness is supposed to be like. Holiness should give a sense of freedom and drawing ever closer to the Lord. I like that!"

One day in my devotional time as I pondered that thought, I felt the Lord give me the theme "holiness" for 2005. And since then, I've been meditating and studying about holiness. I mused about the freedom that holiness gives—that it sets us free to be who and how God wants us to be. And the consequences of living in holiness are so wonderful and attractive; yes, liberating. And it brings a greater sense of closeness to the Lord.

And then I felt the Lord direct me to invite YOU to be a part of a discussion about holiness—an ongoing, interactive discussion about holiness so that I can learn from you and we can benefit from each other. If this sounds intriguing, please go to "Holiness" for the full details.

I'm excited to see what God does. And regardless of whether you join me in the discussion, I encourage you to seek holiness as never before. It's our challenge, our right, our inheritance in Christ, and results in our liberation of joy and closeness to the Lord.

Our 7-year-old daughter exclaims, "Mommy, it's time to open another present." No, it's not Christmas morning, but it is time to help keep our family's thoughts focused on the true meaning of Christmas by joining together for a holiday project which has become a family favorite. The children can hardly wait to dive into our "Box of Blessings," a special box which holds 24 gifts for the Advent season.

The first present introduces the idea. On December 1, I open the large gift-wrapped box containing 24 more attractive gifts, and read the enclosed tag to the family: "Today we are beginning a Christmas project. We will open a different present for the next 24 days to help remind us of God's most precious gift--His Son Jesus."

In preparation for the Advent season, gifts are selected that are practical and useful as visual aids, and then a specific object lesson is planned around each gift. Scripture references plus discussion questions are chosen which will both reinforce biblical principles and stimulate good conversation within the family.

The children grow more excited with each day. We find that the discussion time allows for them to share their ideas and feelings rather than to shout back "pat answers" to our questions. Sometimes we ask additional follow-up questions to help clarify an area of misunderstanding. My husband and I also add our own ideas and the children learn from our discussions.

Everyone can benefit from this family holiday project. Simply wrap a large box with Christmas paper, wrapping the lid separate. Gather 24 visual aids, wrap them, write out tags for each (object lesson, Scripture and discussion questions), and place the gifts in the box.

With little effort and a bit of creative imagination, every family can make Christmas more Christ-centered. The Lord used object lessons consistently. He took things that were familiar to the disciples and made sermons out of them to teach eternal truths. Our "Box of Blessings" has helped each of us to know God better and to absorb simple principles from His word. When our 5-year-old son received Christ as his personal Savior less than three weeks after our Advent observance, we knew this was one Christmas tradition we would continue.

Present #1 A large, wrapped box containing 24 gift-wrapped presents. READ: Today we are starting a family Christmas project. We are going to be opening little presents for 24 more days. God gave us the most precious gift of all, His Son Jesus. (John 3:16) Have each of us received this gift of Jesus into our lives?

Present #2 Several pieces of any kind of food. READ: Does food always stay the same even after a long time? No, it changes when it gets old, doesn't it? But Jesus never changes; He is always the same. (Hebrews 13:8) Why do you think it is important that Jesus never changes?

Present #3 A heart-shaped object. READ: Hearts remind us of love. We love others, but did you know that God loves us even more? (I Corinthians 13:4-7) How many things about love can we find in these verses?

Present #4 A piece of soap. READ: Jesus washed His disciples’ feet to show them that they should be servants to each other. (John 13:5) How can we be a servant to each other?

Present #5 A piece of flat bread for each person. READ: Jesus was tempted just like we are. (Matthew 4:1-11) When we are tempted, how can we resist the Tempter like Jesus did?

Present #6 A small candle or flashlight. READ: Both a candle and a flashlight give light. (Matthew 5:16) How can we be a light so that other people can see Jesus in us?

Present #7 A little Bible or tiny Scripture booklet. READ: God gives us His words in the Bible. (2 Timothy 3:16) How does the Bible help us to live the Christian life?

Present #8 A piece of modeling clay. READ: We can mold this piece of clay into whatever we want it to be. Sometimes we want to be like the people of the world but Jesus wants to mold us into His image. (Romans 12:1,2) Are there some things we do that are like the world and not like Jesus?

Present #9 Scissors. READ: With scissors, we can cut out crowns for us to wear. (Have construction paper available for crowns.) Jesus promises to give heavenly crowns to those who still love Him even when sad things happen to them. (James 1:12) What sad thing has happened in each of our lives? Do we still love Jesus?

Present #10 A toy boat. READ: The disciples were afraid they would die in a storm. (Mark 4:35-40) Are we afraid of something? What does God say about fear?

Present #11 A small battery. READ: A battery gives a flashlight the power to produce light. Similarly, the Holy Spirit gives us the power to live a Christian life and have the fruit of the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22,23) What are the fruits of the Spirit? How can we have the fruits of the Spirit?

Present #12 A penny for each person. READ: God gives us everything we have and wants us to give a part of it back to Him. (2 Corinthians 9:7) What can each of us give to God? Does God want us to be happy or sad when we give to Him?

Present #13 A plastic lid. READ: We use a lid or seal to keep something inside a jar or other container. (Ephesians 1:13) Who does God use to seal our salvation within us?

Present #14 Plastic toy sheep. READ: Sheep follow their shepherd's voice. Just like sheep, we should listen to our Shepherd's voice. (John 10:4,5) What are some things our Shepherd, Jesus, tells us to do?

Present #15 A rubber band. READ: See this rubber band? When we pull and stretch it, it becomes tight. That's a good example of how we feel inside when we worry. If we don't stretch it, the rubber band is soft and relaxed. (Philippians 4:6-7) God wants us to relax in Him. If we are uptight, what do we need to do so that we can relax inside?

Present #16 A blank piece of paper with "sin" erased off. READ: When you make a mistake in writing, you can erase it and start over again. When you do something wrong, called sin, you can ask Jesus to forgive you and He will forget all about it. You can start over again. (Ephesians 4:32) What is something each of us did wrong lately that Jesus has forgiven us for?

Present #17 Empty. READ: Were you surprised to find this present empty? So was Peter when he found the tomb of Jesus empty. (John 20:1-9) Jesus was born so that He could grow into manhood, die for our sins and then be resurrected from the dead. What does resurrected mean? Jesus is alive. How does that affect our lives as Christians?

Present #18 A cotton ball with perfume on it. READ: This smells good, doesn't it? What Jesus did for us, by dying for our sins, smelled good to God. (Ephesians 5:2) What nice thing have each of us done lately that smells good to God?

Present #19 A plastic or toy angel. READ: An angel will announce when Jesus comes back to earth to take His children to heaven. (I Thessalonians 4:16) Do each of us know that we are going to heaven? How can we know for sure?

Present #20 A match. READ: The deeds we do are either valuable or worthless. (I Corinthians 3:12,13) What deeds are each of us doing that will be considered good in heaven? What deeds will be judged worthless and burned up?

Present #21 A picture of a neighbor or friend. READ: God uses the word "neighbor" to mean everyone. (Galatians 5:14) He wants us to love everyone. Do we have a hard time loving everyone? What can we do about it?

Present #22 A happy face sticker. READ: Is there something you can do to make God happy? (Colossians 3:20) What are some ways each of us can be obedient today?

Present #23 A tiny piece of concrete. READ: The foundation of a house is usually made from concrete. It is put in first before the house is built. (Luke 6:47-49) Is Jesus our foundation? Is He first in each of our lives?

Present #24 A tiny globe or picture of the earth. READ: God made the earth and everything in it. That includes each of us. (Genesis 1:1; Psalm 139:13-16) Do you know that you are special and important to God?

Present #25 A photograph of each child when each was a baby. READ: You used to be a baby, didn't you? So was Jesus. Just as you are growing up, Jesus grew up so that He could one day become our Savior. (Luke 2:1-20) What do you want to be when you grow up? In what way can each of us continue to have the Christmas spirit every day of the year?

When Larry and I began considering retirement, the desert was the last place I thought we’d settle. I always considered it a dusty and dirty place, too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter. Yet, when visiting friends who lived in the desert, we found it to be a rather appealing location. When we made the decision to move here, I wondered, It’s such a huge change from the Los Angeles area, will we like it? How will I survive the hot summers? I’ve lived in the same house for thirty years, will I enjoy our new home as much?

I shouldn’t have worried. We have loved the area and weather, since there are many more months of perfect weather than uncomfortable ones. Lots of sun graces each day with crystal-clear skies, revealing bright orange sunrises and magnificent sunsets dotted by multi-colored hot air balloons floating towards us.

The abundance of sun and a natural underground aqua fir provide the perfect combination of growing lush plants and colorful desert flora. What I’d never realized before was how colorful desert plants are. Most desert plants bloom with flowers colored in purples, reds, and oranges. Purple seems to be the most popular of God’s desert creations and I thought, “How appropriate from a royal King of Kings. It’s the color of royalty.”

Yet, with all the beauty and clear skies, in the few years we’ve been here, I sometimes take it all for granted. I can get so wrapped up in duties and responsibilities within the house that when Larry calls, “Kath, you’ve got to come see this magnificent sunset,” I’m tempted to respond, “Oh, just a minute, I’ve got to finish making dinner.” But of course, by the time I’ve finished, the sunset beauty is gone and the sun has disappeared behind the mountains. Then I mentally kick myself for missing a part of our day that we enjoy together. But when I choose to leave the dinner or come away from my desk, I’m reminded again of the blessings we enjoy here.

I’m also reminded that I was initially worried whether we were making the right decision in moving here. I needn’t have worried. God guided us in His love to enjoy this place of beauty and sunshine. It’s another life experience of learning not to worry and thinking of the sun representing the “son-shine” of God’s love. Yet, even His love is something that I can take for granted, just like the beauty the desert offers. But when I constantly remind myself of God’s love, I realize I can worry less because He has only good intentions for me.
(This article is from Kathy's newest book, Partly Cloudy With Scattered Worries, to be published in April, 2005)

Today is October 1st, 2004, and 37 years ago this morning I asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. I'm enjoying reflecting back on an exciting life that I never anticipated. First, in seeing God's hand in drawing me to Him by Larry inviting me to attend his church after we'd been dating for 10 months. I'd always thought of myself as a Christian because I attended church and was born in a Christian nation. But as I went to Larry's church, even the first time, I saw and heard of a new relationship between those people and God. My curiosity was peaked and for the first time, I wondered, "Am I really a Christian?"

The following Sunday as I returned to Larry's church with him, I again noticed the difference. Then as Pastor Folden concluded his sermon, he had everyone bow their heads and close their eyes and asked, "Is there anyone here who is wondering whether they are really a Christian?"

Wow! How did he know what I'd been thinking? Larry must have told him! But then I realized I hadn't told Larry what I'd been thinking. It seemed like a spotlight was on me and for the first time I thought, "God is trying to get my attention."

I raised my hand to indicate I was that person! But as I looked up at my hand, I thought, "Wait a minute, I don't do things like this!" I quickly took down my hand! Fortunately, Pastor Folden had seen my hand and after the service, came over to me with the brand new youth pastor, Wes Anderson. Wes invited me into his office and with Larry there, after Wes explained how to become a Christian, I made that commitment.

What a relief for my soul. No longer did I have to try to become perfect to earn God's love and approval and a ticket to heaven. I received it in God's gracious gift through Jesus' substitutionary death on the cross...for me! For me!

That morning I began a spiritual journey that I am amazed to see God's influence in so many ways. Yes, bad times have been sprinkled through the 37 years but God has been faithful to lead and guide creating an intricate web of His presence and power. I'm so glad I made that choice and commitment so many years ago.

You’d certainly expect to be able to depend upon the integrity and truth of the Encyclopaedia Britannica, right? Well…

Several years ago, the Encyclopaedia Britannica told its readers that the Salem Church Dam on the Rappahannock River in Fredericksburg , Virginia is 194 feet high and 8,850 feet long. It is located upstream from Fredericksburg and makes hydroelectric power and controls floods. But guess what? There isn’t any such dam. Although an Army Corps of Engineer drew up plans for it in 1944, it was never built.

How could this mistake have happened within such a respected encyclopedia? “The whole reason for the encyclopedia is accuracy, but we are dealing with 44 million words, and we sometimes do make mistakes,” says Larry Grinnell, a spokesman for the Encyclopaedia Britannica, as quoted in the LA Times (Aug. 18, 1988). “The error will be corrected in the next update possible.”

You and I are never going to be given an update to correct the facts about God’s character or His Word. His qualities of truthfulness, love, compassion, and so many other wonderful characteristics have always been there, and they always will be. They never change. And the facts stated in His Word are timeless and immutable. We may not always understand them perfectly, and at times our explanation of them may have to be altered; but the facts themselves never change.

Deuteronomy 32:4 says, “He is the Rock, his work is perfect; for all his ways are judgment, a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he.” (KJV)

Talk about security in our lives! God’s truth is a strong, rocklike foundation that will always hold us steady! You can lean on it!

Can you see the "definition" (that's work-out talk for "shape") in my arm muscles? Oh, sorry, of course, you can't, because you're not looking at me right now. But if you were, you'd see the difference since I started lifting weights seriously about six weeks ago. I'd done some weight lifting in the past but just kept it at the same level for a few years. I didn't challenge myself by causing the weights to be heavier and heavier.

But then I was inspired to be challenged with stronger weights and I've been keeping track of my progress. It's been a fun process and I eagerly look forward to my next weight session. I can see my muscles not only feeling stronger but looking stronger with better shape. Sometimes, I feel a little soreness from the exertion but it's a small price to pay for greater strength. As I observe on my progress sheet that I'm lifting heavier weights, I'm motivated!

Of course, I had to apply this spiritually. I seem to do that with everything. But it did make me wonder, "How does spiritual weight lifting happen? How do we grow stronger spiritually?"

I concluded that just as muscles grow stronger by lifting heavier weights, my soul and spirit grow stronger in Christ in several ways:

***giving up my rights. This "spiritual weight" really leaves me sore—spiritually, that is! This is a heavy weight! Being willing to trust God enough to say, "I don't have to have this my way," or "God, I'm going to believe you'll meet my real needs" makes me grow stronger in the Lord.

I think this is the fastest—yet, most difficult—way for us to grow spiritually. When I'm selfless and interested in the needs of others, I'm really lifting a heavy spiritual weight with strength. Philippians 2:3-4 tells us, "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others" (NASB).

But when I lift this weight, I sense God's work within me and most of the time, I experience greater joy and usually see God meet my needs.

***changing my perspective. This "spiritual weight" calls for me to look at life, people, and even myself through God's eyes. I wrote a book on that called Through His Eyes and I've been challenged ever since to grow spiritually by asking myself, "How does God look at this situation or person or challenge?" Asking that question helps me to recognize that I could be wrong in my assessment or that there could be more than one way to look at something. When I see people through God's eyes, I can change my bitter or critical perspective to understanding and compassion.

It's a hard choice to believe that the way I see something may not be God's view, but it definitely makes my spiritual strength grow stronger.

Those two "weights" are the ones that most often create growth in me. What have you discovered creates growth in you? I'd love to hear from you.

I'm still growing out my hair! (If you haven't followed along on the story started in July of last year, scan down to "The Similarities Between Growing Hair and Christ-likeness.") Sometimes I'm still amazed that I've actually been able to do it. In the beginning, I really wondered if I could, since I remember past years (when I was young!) and it was so difficult to go through the different stages.

But it really hasn't been bad and I've enjoyed each new stage--and trying to figure out what to do with a different length. Now I can put it up in a pony tail in the heat and it feels good.

Early in the process, I'd found some photos of a model in a clothes catalogue and used it for a goal. Then I found more photos of the same model with different styles of different length hair and I cut them all out. I pasted them on a piece of paper and every time I blow dry my hair, I have a goal to concentrate on. I began seeing a likeness in my own style and the model's hair! And it's only been about a year! I was so glad.

And of course, since we've been making the hair-growth process an analogy for growing more Christ-like, I can see the connection. Jesus is our "model" and we refer to His example in the Bible. Little by little we see how we are growing closer to Jesus--albeit imperfectly.

A few weeks ago, I looked at my hair and thought, "I think it's stopped growing." It seems like it's at the stage when the growth doesn't show as much. At first I was alarmed, "Maybe it really isn't growing!" But then I realized that wasn't true; it's just hard to see the difference.

Well, spiritually, that's how we feel sometimes. "I've shopped growing closer to Jesus." We feel like we've hit a plateau. We're not making any progress and sometimes we even feel like we've gone backward. But God is making progress. He's in charge of it as Paul wrote in Philippians 1:6, "For I am confident of this very thing that He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus." Whew! God won't let us stay where we are! He'll make sure we continue to grow.

And growth requires change. Like with my hair. The last time I saw my daughter (she's the one who started this whole business!), she commented, "Mom, your style is longer but you've just kept the same style. Do something different!" Oh, the honesty of a twenty-something daughter!

So I tried fixing it different and I like it! It was a risk, but it paid off! And that's just like growth in Christ-likeness. Sometimes you have to give up the status quo and discover new ways to grow spiritually. Have you always studied the Bible the same way? Try a different method. Have you consistently prayed with some formula? Try something different. Have you been responding the same way to a circumstance? Find a more godly reaction. Is someone a constant irritation? Ask God to reveal a different way to see this person through His eyes. Make progress! Don't just stay with the same spiritual style. Risk!

How's your spiritual growth going? I don't know how long I'll let my hair grow but it's fun finding out. I do know I'll be growing spiritually until the moment I die or Jesus returns. Let's keep growing!

Are you like me? Do you take the peace we have in Christ for granted? I certainly fall into that trap but I was recently reminded of how wonderful it is to have the peace of God. I toured through the Winchester Mystery House in San Jose, California, and heard the story of Sarah Winchester. She married Oliver Winchester, the creator of the Winchester rifle. After the death of their 6-week-old daughter and then a few years later her husband, Sarah believed that the spirits of the dead people who had been shot with Winchester rifles killed her daughter and husband. She was told in a séance that the only way she'd have peace from her grief and make restitution for the use of Winchester rifles was to move and constantly build. As a result, she moved from Connecticut to California, bought a home with lots of acreage and began building onto the house in 1884. In her private séances, she received directions from "spirits" for building onto the home and construction went on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. When Sarah Winchester died in 1922, 38 years later, construction immediately ceased and the house had 160 rooms. Today, it's open to the public and the tour reveals some very unusual things like cupboards that are an inch deep and stairs that lead nowhere.

As I toured the home and heard the history, I constantly thanked God for the peace that comes from trusting Jesus as Lord and Savior and believing God wants to lead and guide me. Sarah Winchester never found that peace. How wonderful to know a loving God who cares about us and offers guidance and contentment. We don't need to earn it or deserve it. I felt sorry for Sarah and never want to forget to appreciate the joy and peace I have in knowing Jesus.

Yesterday at my speaking engagement, I became lightheaded and had to lay down for a few minutes. I realized that I hadn't eaten enough nor drank enough water. My body rebelled and said, "You didn't treat me well, so I'm going to let you know to treat me better next time!" I listened!

Sometimes, we aren't listening when our spirit and soul is telling us we are spiritually dehydrated. We haven't been drinking and eating enough spiritual water and food. Our walk with God is dry and undernourished. We can become depressed, lacking joy and easily frustrated with the irritations of life. No fun!

You and I don't want to be like that. We need to make sure we stay spiritually hydrated and nourished. Psalm 1:1-3 tells us, "How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers! But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night. And he will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season, And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers." (NASB)

If we want to drink from the streams of water and be fruitful, we need to make God's Word our delight and daily bread and water. Time with God is essential. It refreshes us and reminds us of the truths which we can stake our lives on.

Are you currently spiritually hydrated and well-fed? It's a good thing to be spiritually fat! Enjoy God's presence today even if it's for a few minutes.

God is an expert! God knows the “what” that He desires to accomplish. The “what” is the result of His plan, yet as we’re heading toward the “what,” we get worried. We wonder if God really is capable and powerful enough to handle our situation as the tornado of problems heads for us. Sometimes I do wonder if God is standing in heaven wringing His hands, muttering, “Oh, no, I really hadn’t banked on this happening! What in the world should I do about this?!”

NOT!!!!!!!!!! God knows the result He has in mind and nothing will stop Him. That is what the miracle of the feeding of the 5,000 in John 6 teaches us. “Jesus therefore lifting up His eyes, and seeing that a great multitude was coming to Him, said to Philip, ‘Where are we to buy bread, that these may eat?’ And this He was saying to test him; for He Himself knew what He was intending to do.” (John 6:5-6 italics mine, NASB)

Jesus knew all along what He was going to do but He wanted to include His disciples in the miracle. Yet, can’t you just envision the disciples’ worry when Jesus asked that question? Philip must have been thinking, “Oh, my! If you don’t know how to feed them, then I sure don’t! Why are you asking me? I don’t want the responsibility!”

That’s sometimes how you and I feel when God is in the process of bringing us to the “what” of His plan. We’re wondering what’s going on! And we begin to doubt God’s power to take care of the problem or situation. But God knows what He intends to do! Believe it!

The Ole "All Or Nothing" Tendency Sneaks In Again
by Kathy Collard Miller

I'm working on another book project and it feels so wonderful. Although I loved having a two year sabbatical from writing a book, it's a great feeling to be back concentrating on a book. And the writing is going well and quickly. I'm very grateful to the Lord.

But in the writing, I'm finding that old "all or nothing" perfectionistic tendency creeping up again, trying to make me worry. And I'm writing about worry! I'm worried that I won't finish my project and so I must concentrate to the exclusion of doing other things. Although I do have a quick deadline, the writing is ahead of schedule so there's really no reason to worry, but my perfectionistic thinking is helping me to do so anyway.

As a result, I can become impatient with interruptions and also miss the opportunities that the Lord really does want me to participate in. He is in charge of my time and if He says "go do that," then I can trust that He'll provide the time I need.

If you have this same tendency, beware of concentrating so hard on one thing that obedience to God is hard to do. We can learn to multi-task even if it's difficult. And it really ends up being a test of our trust in God. He knows all that He wants you to do, so believe He can give you enough time and energy to do all He has planned for you.

Follow Up On "Just Give Me the Chocolate and No One Will Get Hurt"
by Kathy Collard Miller

The past month (January) has been a fun one working on the goals that I wrote about last month. If you haven’t read about it yet, you can—by scrolling to the next article entitled “Just Give Me the Chocolate and No One Will Get Hurt.” Eight women responded to that challenge. They made goals for themselves that were as diverse as “I will only have one sweet coffee drink a week” to “I’ll spend ten minutes with God three times a week.” My own goal was to have only one sweet per week. I encouraged them to make reasonable goals yet some just couldn’t resist having multiple goals. For instance, Janet wrote that she wanted to have at least four servings of veggies a day and one serving of fruit, only one treat per afternoon, no eating after 7pm and also spend ten minutes with God three times a week.

I think it’s been a good month for them and me. For instance, Janet realized she’d made too many goals and revised them to just one. It was interesting to see some of the perfectionistic attitudes of some of the women emerge. For instance, Joan originally sent me the goal of “spend an hour with God seven days a week.” I wrote back and suggested she at least allow herself one day that she didn’t have to fulfill such a big commitment. She thought that was wise. But then when she reported in, she couldn’t give herself a high score even though she’d met her goal. The reason? She couldn’t say she was successful because she said she talked too much and didn’t let God talk. I gently tried to point out that God loved her talking to Him and that her goal was to spend the time—which she did—not how it was spent! Therefore, she should give herself credit but that was hard to do.

But she has learned some important things, as she says, “Now, looking back at my hour a day with God, I have discovered a truth (many truths really). God fills a hungry heart in many ways. He reminded me this morning, of His faithfulness and that His love for me is unconditional, and that He loves His time with me. Because of my legalistic upbringing, I keep trying to "earn" His love. I'm thankful He has pointed that out to me. I need to be like a child. It is so simple, "Jesus loves me." Joyce Meyer says to say every day, "God, you love me." I was doing that in one of my sessions with God, and in my heart I heard, "I sure do!"

Jill gave these comments. “I limited myself to only one coffee drink per week, which I managed to do.....only one week did I have one drink...the rest I had none. I think, other than the Lord, of course, is the fact that I prepared myself mentally ahead of time. It took a few MONTHS to succeed in even preparing myself, but in time, I was able to do that. Once I was there (at the coffee shop), I would stop and think, first of all, I didn't really need that coffee drink to stay alert in the afternoon. It was a ‘lie’ that I did. Secondly, I considered the money and how much I was spending each week on coffee drinks. It really added up. Of course, my overlying reason for limiting myself on these drinks was because I needed to lose weight. And I am! I also have a sweet tooth like you, Kathy, and I want you to know that I actually walked into a candy store where they made fresh fudge, and whatever kind of candy you can think of, and walked out. I stood there looking at all the options available to me, maybe three to four minutes. I thought, ‘Am I really hungry, or can I pass this up for something more nutritious?’ I weighed out the fact that I really wasn't that hungry, and certainly the cost of the candy was outrageous. So, I think part of the secret is .....self talk. We can pay attention to what we are thinking when we are tempted, whether it be a coffee drink, skipping our prayer time, or whatever.....we can defeat the ‘lies’ if we just tune in to our thought life.”

Kitty confirmed that when she wrote, “This week two things came through from several sources - truth vs. fact, and watch your thoughts. The TRUTH is that in Christ I am a new creation, and the joy of the Lord is my strength, even though the TEMPORARY FACT is that I'm overweight and out of shape. I have to watch the thoughts (or self-talk) in my head because thoughts become attitudes and beliefs which become behaviors which become habits which become character which becomes my destiny.”

Another important element was brought out by one of the women who found it very difficult to meet her goal. So I encouraged her to revise it to be more realistic. It had started out seeming realistic but since she found it wasn’t, it was alright to revise it.

As I’ve considered this month of goals, I realized how easy it is to focus so much on the goal, that I forgot that the purpose of the goal is to draw me closer to God. The goal isn’t the goal, drawing closer to God is! So I’m trying to remember that about any goal I make.

Now January is over and the pressure is off! I, who had been limiting myself to one sweet a week (OK, one week it was a whole day of sweets), am really looking forward to celebrating the end of the challenge. I think I’ll have a hot fudge sundae and go get some donuts and my favorite cookies…hey! Wait a minute! What am I thinking!? I shouldn’t go hog wild.

Yet, isn’t that just like us? We go crazy once the challenge is gone, yet that really isn’t the healthy thing to do. So I’ve been contemplating my next step. I think a realistic goal is two sweets a week. I’d like to continue but be a little more relaxed for the long haul.

I hope you can learn something from our January goals challenge. Are you making goals that are too ambitious and then wonder why you can’t meet them? And if you do meet them, do you find some way to judge that you didn’t do it perfectly—or even better than originally planned? Maybe you find it hard to give yourself or God credit for the work He’s doing within you.

At one point, I asked the women about what they’ve found helpful in keeping to their goals. Here are some of their comments:

· I had to prepare myself mentally to meet the challenge, along with the desire to read the Word daily and watch what I eat.

· I have found it helpful to tell myself, “It’s only for January, it’s not for forever.” Then I’m able to tell myself “no” a little better.

· The biggest change is focusing on just ONE thing, only 1%. Then it doesn't feel so overwhelming. Also knowing the group members are praying. Also, praying each day and asking God to help me with self-control.

· I think the fact of being covered in prayer has helped my success in this January endeavor.

· I'm finding my time spent with God is a great time. I don't know why I have never done this before. Maybe I just didn't think of it so I have to thank you for prodding me. I have to really concentrate to keep my mind focused on him for an hour, and I want to get to the place I hear his still, small voice.

"Just Give Me the Chocolate and No One Will Get Hurt"
OR
E-mail Prayer Support for Healthy Eating/Living
by Kathy Collard Miller

"Just give me the chocolate and no one will get hurt!" That's what I often say to get a laugh but it's really true! I am addicted to chocolate...and sugar! I confess! By the time the Christmas week had ended, I was thoroughly disgusted with myself. I had definitely taken advantage of all the goodies that Christmas offers and I felt out of control in my eating and had gained a few pounds.

But the "out of control" part is the part that bothers me the most for I see a lack of self control and I know that grieves the Holy Spirit. One aspect of the fruit of the Spirit had been replaced by sweets! So I made a new commitment to cut down, even go without sugar, for the month of January, as much as possible.

Then I thought, "Maybe my internet friends would like to form an email support group in healthy living and eating." So here's the way I'd like to offer you some support in whatever commitment you sense God is leading you. And you can support me!

First of all, make a goal that is reasonable. Since I teach about "The 1% Principle," we can use that to help us be reasonable. That means choosing a small step instead of a 100 percent goal that is unattainable and unreasonable. Here are some examples:

100 Percent	1 Percent
Never eat sugar again	Only one small candy or sweet a day
Never smoke again	Use nicotine patch
Never eat chips again	Eat only 10 per day (count out beforehand)
Exercise every day	Exercise 20 minutes 2 times this week
Spend an hour a day with God every day	Spend 10 minutes with God 3 times this week

Secondly, let me know you'd like to be a part of an email support group by sending me your first name along with the commitment you want to make. Then I will send out the first names and the commitments to everyone who responds. We will pray for each other every day for the month of January. This is a January-only commitment.

Then every 3-4 days, I will email you to get a report of your progress. You can respond by simply emailing me with a number between 1 and 5. "1" means "I'm doing first rate. "5" means "I'm having a really hard time." That way we can have some accountability. I will pass along your results to the others in the group so that they can know how best to be praying for you.

I look forward to hearing from you! I will be blessed to pray for you and we will see what God wants to do in all of our lives.

My mother-in-law called me and her voice conveyed her concern, "Dad can't hear! All of a sudden he is deaf in one ear! What are we going to do?"

"Mom, I'm so sorry. I'll call the doctor and make an appointment. I pray it's nothing serious."

She didn't sound comforted. "He said he felt all numb on that side of his face and it's been bothering him for several days. But now he can't hear anything!"

I felt a little nervous myself. At 89 years of age, Larry's father is in remarkable health yet was this the beginning of something serious? Had he had a stroke or did the numbness indicate something significant?

Within a few minutes I was able to make an appointment for the next day and Larry took his father into the doctor. When Larry returned, he reported, "It was ear wax buildup. The nurse washed out his ear and he could hear immediately. She said it's most likely been building up for quite some time but he just didn't realize it."

We were so relieved and thanked God for the solution being a simple one. Yet I couldn't help but think of the application to my spiritual life. At times, I've had "spiritual ear wax buildup." It numbed my ability to hear God and obey Him. This buildup comes on gradually just like Dad's loss of hearing. Sometimes, it's not even noticeable. Of course, there can be many causes, but maybe I allow busyness to prevent me from having my time alone with God in prayer. Or my Bible studying seems a little boring and so I don't study as much. Or I feel too tired to go to church. Or something always seems to come up when it's time to attend my women's study group. Or I read a passage or verse from the Bible and it just seems like an unreasonable request from God. He wants me to love my enemies? That's going a little too far, it seems.

So subtly and imperceptibly, a spiritual hearing problem develops and I no longer am sensitive to God's guidance or conviction. Even a certain spiritual heart numbness increases but since it doesn't really seem like a big deal, I ignore it. If left untreated, little sins can build up and a deafness to hear God's voice can increase. Spiritual ear wax build up! It can happen so easily and Satan can so cunningly use it for our destruction. Usually a "big" sin that can even bring down ministries starts with the spiritual ear wax build up that is never washed out.

We can prevent this by being sensitive to even the littlest of sins and attitudes that displease the Lord. We can wash out the beginnings of spiritual deafness by keeping faithful in spending time with God and being open to hearing His gentle voice of conviction. By believing that He knows best, even when He tells us something is sinful or destructive, we will keep our spiritual hearing clear and open.

How's your spirituals ears today? Got any ear wax building up? I hope not. If you're not quite as sensitive to hearing God's voice as you have been in the past, you might want to have an ear washing treatment of confessing your sins and recommitting to obeying God's smallest of whispers. It'll feel good to have the numbness gone. And as my father-in-law said after the ear washing, "I couldn't believe all the junk that came out of my ear. No wonder I couldn't hear. Now I hear better than ever!"

When my daughter, Kelly was in middle school, I accompanied her science class on a field trip to Death Valley National Park. As we hiked in Death Valley , we all carried two bottles of water that were given to us. I will never forget Kelly's science teacher's instructions to us about our water, "Always carry your water in your tummy!"

I can see the transference of this idea to the living water that God has for us in His Word. As we travel through the hard, dry places in our lives, the living water, the Word of God, needs to be carried within us. If it is carried within our hearts, we will be able to access it to help us.

Water carried in a bottle is heavy and burdensome, but water carried within our tummies is easy and light. If we just read the Word and don't receive and absorb it into our hearts, allowing it to change us, it is just another burden. It will drag us down as rules and regulations rather than bringing life.

But God has incredible living water for us, just waiting for us to drink deeply—into our spiritual “tummies.” Remember: carry the living water inside of you. Then you’ll be prepared for any challenge you face on your hike through life.

Karen Dye is a speaker who loves to motivate women to walk close to God. She lives in Lone Pine, California and can be reached at lppf@qnet.com. Karen is Kathy’s sister.

Guess what? I haven't cut my hair! (If you're new to this page, read the next article first). And I've been surprised that it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. But that doesn't mean there haven't been times when I thought, "Hey, what I had was good enough—why go to all this trouble?" And isn't that like Christlikeness too? When we're trying to be more like Christ, it almost seems harder than when we didn't care that much. "After all," we can think, "I was a pretty nice person before. Everyone likes me. I go to church. What's all this stuff about responding like Jesus would? That's a far-fetched goal since He can do it—and I can't."

But Christlikeness is exactly what God is calling us to, and it's worth the "trouble." There is always room for growth and improvement—regardless of how much everyone loves us. And since we all have areas that may actually be fairly ugly at times, we need to continue in our journey of seeking godliness.

And sometimes, my hair has felt "fairly ugly" as I'm learning how to manage it at a different length, most likely the longest it's been in years. It's when I've been out in public that I cringe and want to shout, "Please don't judge me now because I'm in process." It's then I wish I would carry around that picture I found of my future hair style. I can point to it and say, "Look! This is how I'm going to look in a year or two. Won't it be grand?"

I realized that spiritually, in my journey closer to Christlikeness, I also can say to people (especially when they are aggravated at me or disappointed because I'm less than perfect in godliness,) "Look in the Bible! See how Jesus was? That's my goal. I won't reach it here on earth completely, but I am growing closer to the way He walked on earth. Won't it be grand?"

I'm excited as I continue my hair growth and my character growth. I'll give you a report in several months. I hope you and I, regardless of our hair length, will be growing closer to "looking" like the picture of Jesus in the Bible.

The Similarities Between Growing Hair and Christ-likeness
by Kathy Collard Miller

I was visiting with my daughter and off-handedly mentioned, "I sure would like to have long hair again." I'd expressed that thought before but it always seemed inconceivable. After all, I'm in my 50's (young 50's, that is) and it's been a very long time since I had long hair. I didn't know how long I wanted it...I just had been thinking it would be nice to have it longer. But it seemed like a very long process to get it there! (I think I'm fixated on the word "long").

I caught my breath. Yes! Why don't I? In that moment, the desire clinked into my brain as something I really could do...and well...why not? I looked at her and smiled. "You're right. I can!"

A week or so later, I was flipping through a clothes catalogue and paused as I looked at a model with the hair style I wanted! A little longer than her shoulders, it was soft and flowing. That's it! That's what I want to look like! I cut the picture out and taped it above my desk. I'm encouraged by that picture. Seeing it makes the process seem more possible. I know the goal—the outcome.

As I've thought about the small commitment I made that day, I've been surprised to see a spiritual counterpart to my hair quest. I began to see that having that picture of my goal is like seeing Jesus as the goal of what I want my character to be like. It's "Christ-likeness." The more I concentrate on Jesus, the more I'll become like Him. Christ-likeness is living and responding like Jesus would. Yes, it's the wonderful concept of "WWJD:" "What would Jesus do?" And the more I've meditated on the concept, the more analogies I see.

For instance, growing hair longer is a very long process, especially when allowing it to grow many inches longer than I currently have it. And becoming Christlike is a very long process too. I may reach my goal of having my hair long but I'll never completely reach Christlikeness. But the process is similar because we get impatient with both! I'm sure I'm going to be tempted to cut my hair short again many times because it won't grow as fast as I want. And it's going to be hard going through the different length stages.

The consequences of giving up my goal of long hair won't be bad but quite the opposite is true of our quest for Christ-likeness. It's not an option! It's a commandment, "...and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth." Ephesians 4:24 (NASB)

And when we're seeking to be like Christ, doesn't it seem like a very long process? We can feel discouraged and want to give up. We agonize over why we reacted in anger or gossiped or have trouble forgiving. Thankfully, God is very patient with us. He knows we won't be completely like Christ until we die and see Him face to face. Philippians 1:6 assures us of that: "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6 (NASB). I find it very encouraging that God doesn't expect us to be perfect until we see Jesus—in heaven. But here on this earth, He does want us to be progressing!

Have you noticed that when you want to keep your hair at a certain length, it seems to grow too fast? But when you want to grow it longer, it seems to grow at a snail's pace? It's the same head of hair, but our expectations and anticipation make the difference.

And that's like becoming Christlike. When we didn't want to have character like Jesus, we didn't notice our flaws as much. We may have justified our mistakes and sins, or blamed them on others. "If only she wouldn't make me angry, I wouldn't be like this." But when we realize that we have the challenge of putting on the clothes of righteousness, it seems like we're suddenly impatient with every error and fault. And that's good, isn't it? It means our minds have been transformed to see things differently—through God's eyes. Be encouraged if you feel like that.

I'm glad I'm telling you all this because you're going to want an update next month, aren't you? And I'll have to report whether I decided to lop off my hair prematurely. So keep me accountable, OK? And come to think of it, that's another analogy. We need accountability to stay persistent in working on our Christ-likeness. Bible studies, going to church, talking with other Christians, and confessing our sins and asking for prayer support, all help to strengthen our ability to "act like Jesus would."

Where's a cop when you need them? I was traveling down the 15 Freeway in Southern California and a construction zone limited the speed to 55. Yet, cars were whizzing past me and for once, I was traveling the speed limit. Well, maybe just a few miles over it, I mean. But at least I wasn't going the 70 m.p.h. that the other cars were! "Where's justice, Lord?" I thought. "Why am I trying to keep to the speed limit and nothing bad is happening to these other people?"

I felt like I agreed with the Psalmist, "God takes His stand in His own congregation; He judges in the midst of the rulers. How long will you [rulers] judge unjustly, And show partiality to the wicked? Selah." Psalm 82:1-2 (NASB)

I couldn't help thinking, "God might have the opportunity to judge these speeders in heaven, but I want the 'rulers'— the policemen—to get them now!"

I must confess to feeling some smug superiority, so I had to remember that I don't always keep to the speed limit. But this time, I was determined to do it right: not speed! Yet, I felt jealous that these other people were going to reach their destinations sooner than me!

Then I remembered some other verses in the Psalms, "Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret, it leads only to evildoing. For evildoers will be cut off, But those who wait for the LORD, they will inherit the land." Psalm 37:7-9 (NASB)

I realized that even in my jealousy and desire for justice, I could slip into sin—evildoing—through my attitude. So I backed off and released my desire for vengeance.

But God does have a sense of humor, don't you think? An hour later, I was on a different freeway and because there was no construction, I was able to speed up and go faster. I looked forward to arriving home soon. Then I glanced in my rear view mirror and noticed a car heading toward me fast in the lane next to me. "Wow!" I thought, "He must be going at least 85! Where's a cop when you need one?"

The guy whizzed past me and then I looked in my rear view mirror! And I smiled! A California Highway Patrolman's car was whizzing toward me even faster than the speeder and I cheered when he put on his lights and flashed the speeder to pull over. I couldn't help it! I cheered out loud! "Justice does happen! Yeah!"

I smugly drove home and rejoiced because God had given me a glimpse of the justice that is part of His very nature.

Are you feeling a little jealous because of some people who seem to be getting away with wickedness? Be assured that justice happens a lot here on earth and God will bring complete justice later. Let's be sure that our own attitudes don't bring us to their level of wickedness with a desire for vengeance. Don't focus on them, let's focus on our own attitude so that we trust God to do the right thing.

But if you want to cheer a little when a speeder is pulled over, go ahead! Just make sure it isn't you!

Although I can’t stake any claim to have conquered worry completely and perfectly, many years ago I heard a concept that began the transformation of my mind about worry. I attended Bill Gothard’s Basic Youth Conflicts as a fairly new Christian and he said, “Think of the worst possible thing that can happen and then think of reasons why it wouldn’t be so bad after all.” He based the concept on Romans 8:28 , “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (NASB)

Hmmm. An interesting concept. Obviously scriptural. I mulled it over and then got worried! I don’t think I want to give God the impression He has my permission to do the worst possible thing!

It seemed to be a risk, but my heart longed to be free from the nagging worries that ruled my life. Even as an almost-young-adult—I was nineteen or twenty—I felt like worry was my daily portion. I knew God didn’t want it that way, but life was a bother! I had to think about how my friend may have misunderstood what I’d said. I had to be concerned about my grades in college. I had to wonder about my future. Of course, I used those innocuous words because I worried that someone would think I wasn’t a strong Christian if I used the word “worry.” What a cycle of fear! I felt tense all the time and guilty because I knew God couldn’t be pleased with me as a worry wort!

Then came the day I attended that seminar and Bill’s comment stood out in bold relief. Could I apply it? I decided I would try.

The day after the seminar I returned to work and school. I worked part time in the morning and then only had a short time to drive to school. There wasn’t a minute to spare and I often fretted about arriving late to class. My dependable nature just hated the idea of being late.

That morning I left work a few minutes late because my boss pulled me aside to discuss something and then there was an accident on the freeway that slowed traffic to a crawl. My heart started pumping with anxiety, my hands gripped the steering wheel and I mumbled, “Come on, people! Drive past the accident quickly. You don’t need to gawk at it! Get going—I’m going to be late!”

I envisioned walking into the classroom late with all eyes on me and the teacher making some belittling comment. I didn’t want to stand out, especially about something negative!

As my stomach began churning, the principle I’d learned over the weekend popped back into my mind: “Think of the worst possible thing that can happen and then think of reasons why it wouldn’t be so bad after all.” And I rehearsed Romans 8:28. Here’s my chance, I mused. I took a deep breath and began trying to come up with something good that could happen from my walking into the classroom late.

Okay! If I’m late…I’ll be noticed! But that’s the very thing I’m afraid of! I smiled. But wait! I’ve been trying to share Christ with my fellow students. Maybe I can use my lateness as a way to be noticed by that girl I’ve been trying to talk to. I could tell her how worried I was as I drove and how God gave me peace of mind!

Bingo! With those thoughts, my anxiety level plummeted. I couldn’t wait to be late to class! I even drove more reasonably to make sure there was the possibility. I didn’t need to drive like a maniac! God was going to use it!

Ten minutes later, I walked into class without my typical breathless state, and was shocked to see that the teacher hadn’t even arrived yet. He was late! I took my seat beside my new friend and I told her what happened. We laughed together.

That day I saw two truths about worry: God can bring good out of what we worry about and most of the time, what we worry about, doesn’t happen! The principle of Romans 8:28 began to set me free from worry, although worry isn’t something we get rid of forever. I’ve never forgotten that principle for over 30 years and it continues to help me deal with worry.

Larry found Oscar by the gas pumps at the police station. When he brought him home, we figured he was just another stray kitten. His thin frame and filthy white fur made us sure we had rescued him from a miserable life and possible death. Darcy and Mark had been begging for a kitten; so when Larry saw this starving creature with one blue eye and one green eye, he figured he might as well give in and bring it home.

When I took Oscar to the vet for a checkup, I was surprised to learn our kitten was actually full grown and between two and five years old. As we fed Oscar regularly, he became a healthy, fat, and very handsome white cat.

I had heard of scaredy-cats, but Oscar proved himself to be the ultimate fearful cat. He would jump at the slightest sound; and we didn't dare get a plastic bag close to him, or he would run away and hide under the couch.

When friends came to visit, Oscar quickly found a safe hiding place under a bed. We were all fascinated by his behavior and wondered if he had been abused as a kitten and then abandoned. Had someone put him in a plastic bag and tried to get rid of him? We conjectured all sorts of things that might have happened to make him so skittish.

Though Oscar was in our family for many years, his fears lessened only slightly. When he would fearfully react to something like a plastic bag, I would ask him, "Oscar, what's wrong? Do you really think I'd put you in that bag? I love you. I wouldn't do anything like that."

One day when an aluminum cooking pot slipped out of my hand and banged on the floor, Oscar, who'd been eating nearby, jumped and ran. "Oscar!" I called, "I wasn't throwing it at you."

Whenever I drove Oscar to the vet for a check up, his plaintive cry made me question him, "I know you don't like going to the vet, but it's really for your own good. I'm sorry, Oscar, but we have to do it. It's the only way you'll stay healthy, and we want you to live a long time."

One day, I was walking through the family room where Oscar had been lying on the floor dozing in the sunlight. I reached out to pet him, but he jumped to his feet, backing away from me. "Oscar, you silly. I was just going to pet you. Don't you trust me?"

"Don't you trust me?" suddenly echoed through my mind and heart. God, you've said the same thing to me many times, haven't You? When I don't trust You, do You feel the same sadness I feel when Oscar runs away and seems afraid I'm going to hurt him? I can understand now if You do. Just as I intend only good for Oscar even when I take him to the vet, You, my Heavenly Father, intend only good for me through the experiences You allow in my life. I wish I could convince Oscar I'm worthy of his trust. You must wonder when I'm going to learn that You also are completely worthy of my trust in every aspect of my life."

When anger ruled my life and I was an abusive mother, I was overwhelmed by the belief that God didn't want to forgive me. How can God offer me forgiveness? I wondered. Doesn't He say in Matthew 18:6 that anyone who misleads a child should have a bag of boulders tied around his neck and be thrown into the sea? My sin is beyond forgiveness, even God's forgiveness.

For many months, I felt hopeless and helpless, even suicidal. Yet, God demonstrated His faithfulness by pulling me from my pit of destruction and setting me upon the rock of Jesus Christ. I could see God was helping me to become the patient and loving mom He—and I—wanted me to be. But I still wondered if He could forgive me.

While looking through my Bible one day, Isaiah 43:5 jumped out at me: "I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins."

"Wipes out your transgressions for My own sake"? For His own sake? My mind could not comprehend that new thought. You mean, Lord, that You want to forgive me not just for my sake but for Your sake as well? Something clicked within me. I've always felt so selfish asking for Your forgiveness because it's so beneficial to me. yet You're saying You want to forgive me because it's beneficial to You also.

How is it beneficial to You, Lord? I thought of how forgiveness restores my relationship with Him. That must be it! You want my fellowship. You want my company, my praise and adoration, and I can't give it to You unless I'm cleansed from sin. Ah, that's it!

This discussion with the Lord somehow set my heart free to believe He indeed wanted to forgive me. Isaiah 30:18 confirmed this: "Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; how blessed are all those who long for Him."

I knew I wanted to be among those who longed for Him, and one of the ways I could do that was by accepting His compassion wrapped in His gift of forgiveness. From that point, I was able to believe God wanted to forgive me.

We’re often most tempted to stop trusting God when He delays in answering our prayers. When we’re in pain, we want relief--now! We cry out, “Where is Your help, God? If You really love me and want the best for me, why don’t You intervene?” Charles Stanley writes, “I don’t know that I have met anyone who likes to wait. We live in the ‘now generation.’ We expect and want solutions immediately. We dislike the tension and uncertainty that waiting typically involves.”

That may have been the way Mary and Martha felt as they faced Lazarus’ death in John 11. Their response represents the way most of us view life with an earthly perspective. When Lazarus fell sick, Mary and Martha demonstrated their faith by quickly calling for Jesus. That’s to their credit. They believed with all their might that Jesus could and would heal Lazarus. They couldn’t imagine that their friendship with the Son of God wouldn’t spare them from the pain of having their beloved brother die.

But Jesus didn’t come. We can only speculate about the sisters’ perplexity, but can’t you just picture Martha, the more active woman, walking out the front door a hundred times a day, peering down the dusty road, expecting to see Jesus trudging, even hurrying along, to relieve them of their pain? “Why isn’t He here yet?” she cries out to Mary, throwing up her hands in disbelief.

“Oh, Martha, I’m sure He’ll be here soon. He won’t forsake us. He loves Lazarus too much.”

“Then why isn’t He here?” Martha demands, wringing her hands. She runs to the window again, squinting her eyes. “Oh, I think I see Him,” she exclaims. “Yes, it’s Him!”

Martha and Mary run out of the house and down the walkway but realize it’s not Jesus walking up the road. It’s their neighbor, coming to check on Lazarus. Their shoulders slumped, they shuffle back into the house.

Mary rests her hand on Martha’s shoulder and says, “There must be a good reason He hasn’t come, Martha. You know He wouldn’t forget us.”

Martha’s furrowed brow shadows angry eyes. “What could be more important than his friend Lazarus?” she asks. She couldn’t add “and us” without appearing selfish—but she wanted to.

Finally, in her pain, she spits out, “I thought He loved us. I guess I was wrong.” As Martha stomps into the house, Mary stands shaking her head, muttering, “Martha, Martha....”

And then it happens. Lazarus dies. Up to the very last moment, the sisters continue to search the horizon for their Savior’s familiar form, knowing that no matter how late He comes, He can and will restore Lazarus’ health. But now Lazarus is dead. Even Jesus can’t do anything about that. It’s final. Over. Grief and hurt mingle in the women’s eyes. If only Jesus had come.

We know the rest of the story and its glorious results, but in that moment, Martha and Mary didn’t. They believed in the future resurrection for Lazarus and themselves, but to expect Jesus to bring him back from the dead was beyond their imagination. Yet that’s exactly what He does, and God is given greater glory than if he had arrived on time to wipe away the pain of illness and prevent death.

I take great comfort in the way Jesus responds to Martha’s plaintive rebuke, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:21 ). Jesus, knowing the sisters’ pain and perplexity at His delay, doesn’t reprimand them or tell them to not feel the way they do. He had a purpose in His delay and now He’ll let them in on the fabulous plan.

Mary and Martha were Jesus’ good friends and they believed in His power and love. They thought that should add up to receiving His attention and healing hand upon their beloved brother. It’s easy for us to criticize their shortsightedness since we can read the end of the story within a few verses, but many times, we show the same earthly perspective when God doesn’t answer our prayers in a timely fashion. Like Mary and Martha, we may feel abandoned during those times when God’s answer comes slowly or seemingly late. But Isaiah 55:8-9 reminds us that God’s outlook is far beyond our ability to comprehend: “‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts. Neither are your ways My ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth. So are My ways higher than your ways. And My thoughts than your thoughts.’” Mary and Martha didn’t see God’s higher point of view until after Lazarus was raised. They thought they would have been content to have him healed, but Jesus had a much more dramatic and glorious plan.

Charles Stanley writes, “Always, in God’s omniscient mind, He uses seasons of waiting to prepare us for His answer. We want the object of our desire now, but God knows we must sift through our motives, check the counsel of other godly men and women, or simply wait until He has orchestrated all the necessary components to bless us and others involved in our decision.”

How is God using your waiting time? Are you maturing? Are you becoming stronger in your faith? Are you seeking Him above instant gratification? As Mary and Martha discovered, you can trust that He knows exactly what He’s doing—even when He seems to be late.

Of Course, He Can Read My Mind;
He Loves Me, Doesn't He?
by Kathy & Larry Miller

I was really excited. Larry and I were shopping for a new dining room table. I just loved it when we spent the day together. I felt secure as Larry again resembled my Prince Charming. After looking at several stores, I began to understand that Larry had something specific in mind he was looking for. On the other hand, I didn't. I did, though, think about our future children sitting around this table doing their homework. This vision of a happy, close family created within me a warm vision of togetherness. We'd talked about starting our family soon. And now we were going to buy a table that would be a big part of our family's history. No wonder I felt such anticipation.

But of course, that was in the future. For right now, I was just pleased we were together shopping. In fact, I hoped Larry would think of making a day of it and going out for lunch, maybe even out to a movie later. I almost said something about lunch and a movie, but after all, Larry knows how much those kinds of things mean to me. I shouldn't have to keep telling him. I'll give him a chance to think of it himself, then he can show me how much he really loves me.

I couldn't seem to find what I was looking for and as we threaded our way through another store, Kathy asked me, "Honey, you haven't liked the tables we've seen so far. Is there something specific you're looking for?"

"Yeah, Kathy," I answered, "I'm really looking for a table with a distressed wood top. I've seen them at some of my friend's homes and I really think they look great."

"A distressed wood table top?" Kathy queried with a look of confusion on her face. "What is that like?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," I replied with a smile. "You're not familiar with that? I can't think of anyone you know who has one but the wood has tiny pieces gauged out of it so that it looks old. That's why it's called 'distressed.' It's actually new but has a stylish old look to it. I bet you'll really like it."

"Since I'm not really that set on getting anything in particular, that'll be fine." She looked around the store trying to spot such a table. "But Larry, y'know what's really important to me?"

"I'm looking forward to the time when our children sit at this table and do their homework," she began. "They'll ask me what two times two is, and this table will be a center for a lot of the family togetherness we'll have. Doesn't that sound fun?"

I really couldn't relate to her feelings but instead said, "Kathy, that really won't work out. Our children can't use this kind of a table." Just as I finished, I spied a table close to my expectations and went over to it.

But I stood transfixed, stunned at the words I'd just heard. "Our children can't use this table. Our children can't use this table!" I repeated in my mind. "How dare he think that this precious table of his is more important than our children. Is he afraid they'll hurt it? Is he afraid they'll damage something that is already distressed? How stupid! I can't believe he would be so shallow in his thinking!"

Without much effort at all, my mind quickly thought of several times Larry had made similar choices that indicated his wrong priorities. "Well, I guess that's just like him, isn't it?" I mused. "Well, if that's the way he feels, he can just pick out any ol' table he wants and I'll make sure our children stay away from it!"

As Larry continued to wander through the store, I slowly followed him at a distance, not even looking at the furniture. I was steamed! I couldn't believe he would choose a piece of wood over people. Didn't he know people were more important than things?

Without being aware of it, I'd quickly and comfortably slid into my "M.O.," my "modus operandi," : pouting and moping. I'll show him how much I disagree with his attitude.

I looked over at Kathy as I started to point to an oak wood table with a distressed top, then paused. She had a look on her face that I couldn't deciper, but it wasn't happy. "Kathy, here's the table I....what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing," she said as she diverted her eyes from mine. "I was just thinking. Go ahead and get any table you want. I don't really care." Her voice dripped with venom and martyrdom.

"Honey, what's wrong?" I asked, wondering what had changed within three minutes.

When Kathy didn't answer me, I shrugged my shoulders and bent down, looking closely at the table. Well, if she won't share with me, I won't pry.

"Ohhhh, that's makes me so mad," I muttered to myself. "That's just like him too...so insensitive. He knows I'm upset but he doesn't care at all. He just ignores me. Well, I'll just show him how cold things can get around here."

Many years later (seven seems to stick in my mind but I hope it's not true), I again mulled over that incident as I had many times before. It had become a well-worn illustration to me of Larry's insensitivity to my needs and our children's. Would he value a table over our children's lives if the house were on fire?

Analyzing all this, as the good Analytical that I am, a completely foreign idea unexpectedly surfaced. Could Larry have meant that our children couldn't use the table because the pitted surface of the wood would hinder their ability to write on their homework papers?

"It sounds so reasonable now that I think of it that way," I mused. "He didn't mean that the table was more important. In his Driver, logical mind, he believed this particular table would be difficult to write on."

Relief and understanding flowed through me. I'd been wrong in my analysis of Larry and now I could view him with different eyes. He'd made a simple statement that I'd assumed I could decipher. I was reminded again that I can't read his mind. For all those years, I'd carried a grudge that had soured our relationship.

Kathy was correct in realizing she'd misinterpreted my comment. I actually was concerned about the children being able to write on their homework papers. If only she'd asked, I would have been glad to explain that to her. But now I can use this story to get plenty of sympathy for me when we speak before groups. I just love it. It's great!

Our story signifies how often we married people suppose we can read each other's minds. In fact, we make the assumption that if someone loves us, they must be able to read our minds. And since we love them, therefore we can read their minds.

As we celebrate Valentine's Day this month, give your spouse (or friend) the gift of not assuming you can read his (or her) mind. Ask questions instead and find out the truth!
(copyright 1999, When the Honeymoon's Over, by Kathy Collard Miller and Larry Miller)

I Should Have My Act Together by Now
by Kathy Collard Miller

As we opened the door to the model home, I started comparing it to my own house. Walking through the living room, I exclaimed to Larry, “Oh, look at how everything is coordinated! The love seat and the drapes have the same fabric. Oh, I wish our house had something like that.”

Then we went into the master bath. “Oh, Honey, look at this. It’s one of those Jacuzzi bathtubs and it has lots of counter space around it for candles and knickknacks. Oh, this is what I really want someday.”

As I continued to ooh and aah throughout the house, I felt my discontent rising. As we drove away an hour later, I mentally walked through that dream house again. Oh, if only I could have a kitchen like that. And if we could landscape like that, wouldn’t it be wonderful? Even after we arrived home, I kept thinking about all the things our home didn’t have that I have always wanted.

Later that afternoon my friend Janice called and raved about the kitchen gadget party I’d had the night before. “Oh, Kathy, that was fun, even if I bought too much. By the way, I just loved the pad you have on your window seat in the living room. I noticed it matches the fabric on your sofa. How did you get that made?”

I told her about the company where I’d taken the fabric and she said she’d contact them. After we hung up, I walked into the living room and looked it over with new eyes. I really did like the fabric on the sofa and the window seat. The chairs looked nice with the coordinated fabric. I guess it’s not so bad after all! I mused.

As I realized how I’d fallen back into my old habit of discontent, I mentally hit myself over the head. “Kathy,” I rebuked myself, “you’ve been working on contentment for years (you even wrote a book about it!) When are you ever going to learn it?”

I had fallen into one of the characteristics of the perfectionist—again! In the perfectionist’s heart of hearts, something whispers, “I really thought I would be more mature by now! Look at how long I’ve worked at life!” Or, “I really thought I’d be more loving…or content…or self-controlled…or…” We believe that maturity means not struggling with the same things over and over again. We cry out, “Lord, I’ve already dealt with that situation. Do I have to face it again?”

We may have walked with the Lord a long time and learned much about the Bible and life. We think, Shouldn’t I be victorious over temptation? Shouldn’t I have enough self-discipline to spend time in Bible reading and prayer every day? Shouldn’t I be over my anger problem? Shouldn’t I be able to resist the second piece of pie? Haven’t I learned anything by now?

Ironically, age has little to do with this kind of thinking. When I was fifteen I believed I was old enough to stop fighting with my sister. At age twenty-one I figured I shouldn’t be angry with the customers at work because I’d been dealing with them for three years. When Darcy was born I considered myself an older mom at 25 and scolded myself for being nervous about caring for her. Regardless of our age, we think the experience we’ve gained should keep us from having to work on an area of growth over and over again. If our goal is perfection, it can seem like we aren’t growing at all.

Several months after Larry and I visited that model home, my friend Lisa called to say that she and her husband had purchased a new home. I was genuinely happy for her, and it wasn’t until later that I realized how different this response had been to what I had felt previously. In the past I would have been jealous of such news, but God had been working on this weakness within me for a long time. It felt good to be free from thinking a new house would make me happy. I had grown!

But even as I rejoiced at how I’d changed, I toyed with the idea that, finally, I have my act together. But then very gently, I sensed the Lord tapping my mental shoulder. “Daughter,” he said compassionately within my heart, “you have done well in my power. Now I want you to work on your critical tongue.”

As long as we are on this earth, we will always struggle with surrendering something to God. Instead of focusing on having a sinless life, we should focus on growing spiritually. We’ll never be perfect, but we can learn, mature, and become more like Christ.

The evening was cold and I put on my new red coat, not realizing how significant it would be. I had bought the expensive red coat on lay-away at our local department store, each week faithfully handing over the hard-earned $5.00 from each paycheck. Working part time as a senior in high school at a telephone answering service made me feel very grown up. I looked forward to wearing my new coat, and when I paid the last $5.00 for it, I was thrilled. I carefully carried it home and that Friday night, I wore it to our high school's championship water polo game. And that Friday night, I met Larry through a mutual friend—a meeting that started a romance, blossoming three-and-a-half years later into marriage.

It wasn't too much longer after we were married that Larry told me he was immediately attracted to the rich-looking red coat I wore when we met. He thought I was rich—not knowing that it was only the coat that gave me that appearance. Underneath, I wore the inexpensive—all right—the cheap clothes that I'd bought at a discount store. But the red coat did the trick, though I had no intention of using its illusion.

Did you know that you wear a rich coat of righteousness that God sees and therefore considers you righteous—even though underneath you wear the clothes that are like filthy rags? Those filthy clothes—our sin—is covered by Jesus' robe of righteousness that is our gift from Him when we accepted Christ as our Savior.

As I speak about this righteous robe, I often ask the women in my audience to close their eyes and envision what their righteous robe looks like and how they feel as they are wearing it. Then I ask them to describe it. Each woman's description is different. Some envision different colors—red, purple, and white are the most popular colors. Each robe can be different fabrics: silk or velvet or trimmed in fur. Then some explain that they feel peaceful or empowered or loved as they sense their robe surrounding them.

Can you sense your robe around you? If you can't envision wearing this righteous robe, make sure you have asked Jesus into your life as your Lord and Savior. And remember, you receive this robe as a free gift. You don't even have to pay $5.00 a week on lay-away for it. It is immediately yours at your point of salvation.

Thank You, Lord, For Not Telling Me What the Future Holds
by Kathy Collard Miller

Last week, I had the incredible experience of hiking for ten hours in the wonderful national park of Yosemite. The beauty and grandeur of God's creativity in Yosemite is truly a joy and as my friend, Ginny, and I hiked, it made the day-long hike memorable and worthwhile. When we started out at 7 am with the goal of climbing Half Dome, we knew it would take the whole day to accomplish our mission. We had chosen a less rigorous path called the Panorama Trail to get to the main trail that led to Half Dome. We didn't know what the other path was like, but we liked its description of "less rigorous." And it truly was a reasonable climb—and panoramic like its name suggested.

Finally, we reached the second trail that would guide us to the top of Half Dome, but several hours later within two miles of Half Dome, we realized we wouldn't have enough daylight left to make it to the top and back. With some disappointment, we headed back the way we came and at the juncture of the "more rigorous" trail—which was shorter—we decided to head down it instead of going back by the Panorama Trail because it was longer.

The first part of the new trail was very steep granite steps, which at times were quite high and required stepping down a long way or going through areas that seemed like blocks of odds and ends of granite rocks which were piled together to make the path. It was very difficult hiking down, yet I thought, "I'm sure it will be like this for only a short time and then the path will even out and be more level."

And it did...for a short time. Then the granite steps started again. Yet I thought, "I'm sure this is just for a short time....and besides haven't we gone the two or three miles the sign said this path took?" My legs were beginning to tremble from the exertion of taking such deep steps and from making sure I didn't catapult off the side of the cliff—for there were no fences or bars to prevent it.

But we continued on...and on...and on...with the same process happening over and over... each time thinking the difficult part of the trail would end and it would be smooth and gentle walking. Yet in the meantime as we labored and trembled, the amazing sights we saw also took our breath away: cascading waterfalls and emerald green pools of water. And we socialized with fellow climbers with an ease that could only mean: we were suffering and experiencing the same challenges. We knew what the other was going through! We could talk to these strangers as if they were best friends. We were in this together!

Finally, we reached the Yosemite valley as our legs became mere boiled spaghetti. It was over! As we looked up at the mountain tops we had passed, we were glad we had made the effort to see such amazing sights. Yet thrilled that no one had warned us about the 500 granite steps that we traveled down.

But there was one thing I wish someone had told us before our climb. Someone later mentioned that granite is the most sure-footed surface possible to climb on—even when wet. I wished I had known that. It would have given me more confidence as we hiked down those steps.

As I reflected on what the spiritual lesson of our hike might be, I concluded that I'm glad God doesn't tell us what our future holds. My strength to continue the climb came from hope: the hope that easier climbing lay ahead. In portions of climbing interspersed by more even ground and rest breaks, I was able to accomplish a mission that I might have been too intimidated to do if I'd had full knowledge of the challenge that lay ahead.

I'm glad God only lets us see and experience today's challenge and encourages us to continue on in hope—knowing He is the sure footed granite steps we are traveling on. He knows the path and the challenges and gives us the breaks we need to accomplish His plan. And as we do, we see the amazing views of living life in His power and meet wonderful people along the way who are experiencing the same thing we are.

As someone has said, "We don't know what the future holds, but we know Who holds the future."

Father God, Sovereign Lord, caring and loving God who was with each and every person who died in the 9-11 tragedy, I pray to You on this year anniversary. You welcomed every Christian with open arms and joy into Your presence—and they were glad to be there.

Those who didn't know You personally for salvation, You also stood by them hoping they would call out to You even in their last breath regardless of the degree of sin in their lives—and You would joyfully change their name to the Lamb's Book of Life.

Many made that choice in those moments. O Lord, I praise You that Your grace and mercy covered them with salvation in that instant. That you didn't require anything other than their desire to acknowledge You could save them and forgive their sins immediately.

I praise You, Lord, that You are a redeeming God. And Lord, redeem even this day for Your glory. Use the remembrances to glorify Yourself. Be lifted up. Show Yourself as You are in truth—a loving, caring God.

Precious Lord, I pray for the victim's families and friends. For some, this will be a healing day. For others, it won't be a healthy experience. Cause more and more people to turn to You. Give the right words to Your children who know the victim's families and friends. Empower them to speak truth and cause their words to bear fruit of many coming to know You in truth and to enter Your forever family.

When Larry and I arrived in Jakarta, Indonesia, our missionary hosts directed us to our hotel room and left us to freshen up. Larry plugged in his shaver but it didn’t turn on even though we used the adaptor we brought. I tried to plug in the coffee maker provided in the room and still no electricity!

“The room’s electricity must be broken,” I said and quickly dialed the front desk to tell them of the problem.

They said a repairman would be right up and within minutes, we heard a knock on the door. The man looked into the room and then pointed to a small fixture on the wall near the door.

We slid the key into the fixture and tried the lamp. Bingo! It turned on! Electricity was supplied to the room!

We laughed as the maintenance man walked away, gently shaking his head at the silly Americans who don’t know how to turn on the electricity.

Yes, you now know that in Indonesia (and many other places as well since it was the same situation in Hong Kong) that you must plug in the key at the door to get electricity.

In a fresh way, I was reminded that if I don’t “plug” into the Holy Spirit’s power to do what God wants me to do, I’m not going to be “electrified.”

Let’s not even try to do God’s work on our own. Instead, seek His power by asking Him for His abilities through you.

While in Indonesia, we had the privilege of speaking to a man who traveled a great distance from a small church out in a rural area of one of the islands that make up Indonesia. He told us that during one of the past attacks by Muslins against Christians, the pastor of his church was killed along with many other church members. Several of the children during the attack fled and hid in tall grass. Even though the Muslins were searching for them, the children seemed hidden from sight.

The children later reported that after waiting for a while, they saw "a big man dressed in white who told us when to run away." As a result, they ran to a nearby village and were safe.

Goosebumps prickle my arms as I remember that man's story. He is now the pastor of that church and could again face persecution, even death, if attacked again. His faith and trust in God shone in his eyes though he could pay the ultimate cost for his faith.

Shortly before Larry and I spoke to 1500 Indonesians at the conference there, Larry had the opportunity of giving the Sunday sermon at a small church of about 60 people. Our host, an American missionary, explained that almost all of the people there were converted Muslims and could be (and many were currently) facing persecution for their faith. They knew they could even face death because of the ongoing conflicts in their nation. It even crossed Larry's mind as he preached that someone might drive by and throw a grenade into the church. It was obvious the whole neighborhood knew the Christians were meeting because their worship had been loud and fervent, the sound flowing freely through the open windows and doors.

Nothing happened to us that night but we will never forget the passion and gratitude in the faces of those wonderful Christians as they sang songs in the Indonesian language. We couldn't understand the words but the joy on their faces and the enthusiasm in their uplifted faces and raised hands told us they knew the blessings of their salvation—even if it cost them their lives.

I'm humbled to think of those people who face danger when I'm afraid at times to tell people about Jesus because they might not like me or act a little offended. My life isn't at risk and I hesitate. Those Indonesian Christians have much more to lose and yet they shout their praise of God who has given them eternal life.

Maybe the next time I'm hesitant, I'll remember those Christians and the children whose lives were guided by an angel. God can protect me and you from whatever negative responses we could face. And even if it were to be the danger of death, His empowering Holy Spirit will give us the strength we need to stand firm in our testimony of His wonderful saving grace.

We were amazed at the driving skills of the Indonesians. Larry and I had flown into Jakarta to speak at a Christian conference and as our missionary friends drove us away from the airport, Larry and I looked at each other and we knew what the other was thinking: "Are we back in Caracas,

Venezuela?" In both places, honking is a virtue. Unlike the

United States, where a honk is usually accompanied with a rude gesture and a scowl, in Jakarta

(and other places of the world, I'm sure), drivers honk to let others know, "I'm next to you, let's cooperate." Yes! Cooperate! In

Indonesia

, there are more motor bikes than cars and by the time you get two cars and three motorbikes whizzing around in the space of two lanes, everybody better cooperate. And they did it all like a finely choreographed dance. In the two weeks we were in

Indonesia

and driving extensively, we never saw a single automobile accident—although I'm told they occur. But because most people let others know with a honk that they are coming close, everyone seems to juxtaposition themselves to let everyone go on their way safely.

As I wondered how this system could work, I realized that no one had a sense of "space." In

America

, I get angry if someone cuts me off by coming into "my" lane without warning. That's my "space" and I get offended. How dare you come close to me! I'm here! But in Indonesia, there's no sense of "my space" or driving "rights." No one is offended if you crowd in—and believe me, we saw crowding. I never knew two cars could drive along only inches apart and not hit. But it was because they were both cooperating.

I didn't really want to listen to the Holy Spirit's application in my life but I had to. I recognized how easily I get offended, especially in the relationships closest to me. Can I be honest? In my marriage! If Larry doesn't do what I want him to do, if Larry doesn't consider my opinion always more important than his own, if Larry forgets to open the door for me, I get offended! He has somehow violated my personal space, my "rights." I begin to see him as the enemy, instead of a part of us on the same team.

I recognized that the drivers in don't take the other person's behavior personally. They believe the honk is for their own benefit—so that as they come alongside, there will be enough space for both of them. Why can't I remember that in relationships? That most of the time, whatever the other person has done that seems so terrible (but isn't really), wasn't done on purpose, but usually by mistake. And I do the same thing to other people and wonder why their nose is bent out of shape. It's because we're taking things personally. We consider the honk to be rude instead of a reminder to cooperate.

Philippians 1:27 exhorts us, "Stand united, singular in vision, contending for people's trust in the Message, the good news, not flinching or dodging in the slightest before the opposition" (The Message). When I remember that the real enemy is Satan who wants to divide and conquer and make me feel offended, I can fight the real "opposition" and stand firm and united with those I love.

Exciting just didn’t express fully how I felt dating Larry as we graduated from high school and began attending college. We’d been enjoying each other’s company for about ten months and when the subject of our different churches came up, it seemed simple enough: "let’s visit each other’s church so that we can get to know each other better." Sounded great to me.

Larry came to my church that Sunday and I was thrilled to show him off to my church friends. I looked forward to visiting his church the next Sunday and when we walked into his church, everyone seemed friendly. But during the service, I felt stirred by the obvious close relationship these people seemed to have with God. They somehow referred to Him with more familiarity than the people at my church. I was intrigued, especially when someone mentioned being "born again." I’d never heard that phrase before. Fascinating!

Fascinating, yes, but I also felt disturbed. "I’m already a Christian," I comforted myself. "After all, I go to church every Sunday and I was born in

America

, a Christian nation. That makes me a Christian, doesn’t it?" It seemed like a war was being waged in my mind and I didn’t know who I was fighting. Looking back now, I should have realized that if being born in a Christian nation made you a Christian, then if I’d been born in a garage, that would make me a car. It didn’t make sense and for the next seven days, all I could think about was, "I wonder whether I really am a Christian?"

"Of course, I am," I argued but I knew I didn’t have a close relationship with Jesus Christ.

The next Saturday evening, Larry and I went with his church’s youth group to a Billy Graham film called "For Pete’s Sake." Watching that movie made me reflect even more on how I really wanted a personal relationship with Christ—the theme of the movie. At the end of the film, the audience was invited to go forward to hear more about asking Jesus into their lives.

"I’ve never done that," I mused. But I looked over at Larry and he wasn’t going forward. What would he think if I did? I couldn’t risk losing him as my boyfriend. But all I could think was, "I wonder whether I really am a Christian after all."

That thought continued to haunt me as I returned to Larry’s church the next morning and sat through the service. At the end of the sermon, the pastor said, "Please bow your heads and close your eyes."

I obediently did and then heard him say, "Is there anyone here who’s wondering whether they really are a Christian?"

My heart started pounding hard. "Oh my!" I almost gasped. "That’s what I’ve been thinking all week. How did he know?"

I gulped down my nervousness. "Oh, I know! Larry must have told him." But I realized with a start that I hadn’t told Larry my thoughts.

In the quiet of the moment, I suddenly thought, "God is trying to get my attention. I need to ask Jesus into my heart—but I don’t know how."

Since the pastor was talking about me, I raised my hand suddenly without really thinking. Then I looked up at my hand. "Wait a minute, I don’t do crazy things like this!" I quickly pulled down my hand and tried to disappear into the seat.

The pastor didn’t say anything else, but within seconds of closing the service, he was standing at the end of my row as Larry and I moved out of the pew and said, "Hi there! I’m Pastor Folden. You’re new here, right?"

Pastor Folden replied, "I’d like to introduce you to our youth pastor, Wes Anderson. He can answer the questions you have about what I asked."

I wanted to slide right under the pew. I wanted to murmur, "Oh, you saw my hand? Well, it was nothing" and slip away. But the man he introduced as Wes, shook my hand and motioned for Larry and I to follow him. I was caught! And Larry was going to be in on it. How embarrassing!

But it didn’t turn out to be embarrassing at all. Wes explained how Jesus died on the cross for my sins and that I could know for sure I was a Christian by asking Jesus to come into my heart. And incredibly, Larry said that he had already done that years earlier.

Within fifteen minutes, Wes had answered my questions and I took a deep breath. "Yes, I do want to receive Christ as my Lord and Savior," I said softly. As Wes prayed, I repeated his words out loud telling God I was a sinner and that I needed His forgiveness. And I asked Jesus who died on the cross for me to come into my heart and life and be my Savior and Master.

As I finished, I had to brush away tears from my cheeks and I shyly looked up, wondering if Larry would be laughing at me. But he wasn’t. He was grinning so broadly that I thought his cheeks would break and he gave me a big hug.

I didn’t feel any different in my heart—other than crying—and I wondered if anything had really happened, but over the next days and weeks, I knew something very significant had happened. I looked at everything different and I no longer had that void-kind-of feeling in my heart, as if I was missing something. I’d found it! God was in my life for real and I never had to wonder again, "Am I really a Christian?"

"Well, honey," I said to my husband, Larry, "I would really like our side yard to be all concrete so we can put the trash cans there."

Larry stared at me as if I were from outer space. "Why would you think that? I’m not even going to put the trash cans there."

I felt as if my spirit had deflated, like a balloon being poked with a knife. His voice sounded so gruff. Did he really think my opinion wasn’t worth anything? I shrank back and decided, "Well, since everything I seem to say is worthless, I guess I just won’t say anything."

The tension between us had been growing since he had retired and we’d decided to move to a newly built home, which needed what seemed like thousands of decisions to be made. We often commented "We sure are under a lot of stress," but somehow after almost 32 years of marriage, we really couldn’t think that it could affect us. But it did and I wasn’t happy. Larry and I rarely initially agreed on anything for the house; he was around 24/7 since retirement in January; and we moved a distance from family and friends. Stress? What stress!

To make matters worse, I knew I was feeling super-sensitive to Larry’s comments because my hormones were raging. Oh, menopause, here I come! It seemed like nothing Larry did pleased me. Even when I expressed my wounded feelings and he said he didn’t mean to hurt me, I couldn’t accept it. I viewed everything he did through a negative filter that considered him my foe, rather than my ally. I knew I was wrong, but I couldn’t seem to stop my mental review of his faults and "meanness."

Then last week, I called Larry from a speaking engagement in a distant city. After he asked about my speaking, he said, "Kathy, the Lord has convicted me about something and I want to ask your forgiveness. I’ve been thinking that your super-sensitivity was your problem and you needed to deal with it. But I haven’t been your spiritual leader by helping you. I’m so sorry. Will you forgive me? I want us to work on this together and we’ll do anything we need to do to help us overcome this challenge."

I couldn’t believe my ears. As he spoke, I felt like a burden fell off my shoulders. He really cared! He really was sensitive to the Lord. I was so pleased and expressed my appreciation.

But I didn’t realize the difference it would make in my perceptions. By the next day when I returned home, I felt completely different toward Larry. My negative filter was gone. I fell back in love with this wonderful guy and when I expressed my surprise at what had happened, Larry replied, "I’m not surprised at all. I knew my confession would break the bondage holding you. I hadn’t been the spiritual leader in caring for you and the Lord assured me that taking that leadership would give you the freedom you needed." He smiled a smug smile and I couldn’t have been more thrilled.

The power of a confession. Asking for forgiveness is a powerful healer and it breaks bondages that hold us and cause destruction. James 5:16 says, "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed."

I’m grateful for a spiritual leader who obeyed the Lord and set me free. Is there someone who needs your confession today?

The phone rang and as I listened to my husband, Larry, talk with the customer service representative at the development company of our new house, my heart sank. The call we'd dreaded actually came. We'd hoped that it wouldn't. The plans for the house were going so well that the salesman had assured us the house was on schedule. But the woman let us know that a company hadn't installed a needed meter and it would be another week before we could move in.

My instant thought was, "Lord, you're punishing me because I've been concentrating on that house so much and I've found too much joy in taking possession of it." I knew God was correcting me--not punishing me--but my heart felt like I needed to be punished. I indeed had been finding my joy in that new house--not the Lord. I wrote to a friend, "I want to move into that house so much I can just taste it! But the Lord keeps telling me, 'Even this house is not going to be perfect and it will grow old and deteriorate and get dirty. BUT I NEVER GROW OLD OR DETERIORATE OR GET DIRTY. PRAISE ME! NOT THE NEW HOME!'"

Since then, I've struggled with keeping my eyes on the Lord and not grieving this temporary loss. I keep telling myself that as soon as we're in the house, it'll seem like it's been forever. But in the meantime, I'm learning anew to find my joy and contentment in the Lord, not things.

How's your contentment? Is there something that you're counting on for your joy? If so, there's a possibility you'll experience disappointment because life doesn't always cooperate with what we want or think we need. Feeling disappointed means we've put our joy eggs in another basket other than the basket labeled, "trust in God."

We can correct that by:
Realizing the things that bring temporary happiness in life will fade. But we can choose to be joyful and content by focusing on the blessings God has given us.

Trusting God's perfect timing and plan for everything. The disciples were disappointed and crushed when Jesus died. They couldn't see the plan. If they had known it would take three days for the plan to unfold, they most likely would have thought it was forever. But the three days passed and Jesus secured our eternal destiny through His resurrection.

If you're eager to see something happen, or you've been disappointed by something or someone, keep your eyes on Jesus and let's remember that we can choose to be joyful regardless of our circumstances--even when the dreaded phone call comes!

In the last week before we moved, Larry and I sometimes wondered aloud why anyone would want to buy our 30-year-old home. We knew there were many things the new owners were going to enjoy, including the pool—the main reason they had been attracted to our home. But we also knew there were many disadvantages to an older home. We had fixed everything we knew about but there were bound to be things that would need fixing later. That's why we were so thrilled to be moving into a brand new home. We figured that at least for some time, everything would be fresh and new. We eagerly anticipated that wonderful blessing, plus we were able to pick so many things in the new home to be exactly the way we wanted.

Again, my thoughts turned to heaven. I realized it's the same contrast between our temporal physical bodies and our new bodies in heaven. Our earthly bodies always need attention—and as I get older, there are more and more things that need fixin'. But I'm encouraged to think of my heavenly body which will be so wonderful. It won't ever get old and my "parts" won't need to be fixed. Who wouldn't want such a heavenly home?

Yet if a person refuses to acknowledge their need of Jesus as their Savior, they are in effect, saying they want to stay in an old house that will someday disintegrate. I hope you're assured of having your new body waiting for you the moment your old body dies. It's going to be a magnificent experience and I don't want you to miss out! The new body that will stay perfect will be worth it all.

The other day as a friend visited us in the midst of our packing up our house to move, she commented, "It must be very difficult to live with the house being torn apart."

I could understand her comment. Packing boxes were everywhere, pictures were off the wall, papers were scattered, dirty dishes were in the sink (OK, I admit that's because I hadn't done them), and everything really was a mess.

But I replied, "I'm surprised, but it's really not hard because we know we're getting ready to move into our wonderful new house."

As I said that, I thought, "I should always think that way about anticipating heaven. The 'messiness' of this world is tolerable because I'm going to a better place—heaven—where everything will be perfect." Makes the hassle of earthly life a little more joyful, doesn't it?

You Can Be Successful in Your New Year’s Resolution
by Kathy Collard Miller

I was working out at the gym with a friend and knowing the New Year would start in a couple of days, we chuckled as we thought about how much more crowded the gym would be after January 1^st. Then as it happens every year, about four to six weeks later, the gym returns to its normal level—and we wouldn’t have to wait in line to use the weight machines.

Yes, the New Year resolutions for buffing up the body and becoming healthy would last a short time for most people. Great motivation to start but not much to continue. Why is that? For many, it’s because we make our goals too high and become discouraged when we can’t meet them.

But there is a solution. It’s found in "The 1% Principle," which I write about in my book, Why Do I Put So Much Pressure On Myself? It’s the idea of setting small goals toward a bigger one and when we meet the small one (1% instead of 75% or larger), we’ll be encouraged to continue.

Does this sound like a plan that God can’t applaud? After all, doesn’t He believe He can empower us to reach huge goals? Of course He can but He also understands that "we are but dust" (Psalm 103:14). That’s why He says, "Take pains with these things; be absorbed in them, so that your progress may be evident to all." (1 Timothy 4:15 NASB). He doesn’t say, "so that your perfection may be evident to all." He expects us to be in process little by little and is pleased with our progress—even 1% at a time.

How can you use the 1% Principle to grow closer to God, become more of the person God wants you to be, or develop your spiritual life? Make a plan now and carry it out—little by little—1% at a time.

I had been in for about a month as a short term missionary in the summer of 1969. I was twenty years old and loved having such wonderful ministry among the beautiful and gracious Jamaican people. The other teens and myself in our small witnessing group were being blessed as the people we talked to responded to our sharing of the gospel. We were also blessed by being in a beautiful tropical setting and enjoying the new foods and experiences of travel.

One of the curious things we noticed was that the Jamaican people gave off a wonderful, tropical smell. We concluded it must be from the wonderful fruits they ate. We loved those fruits: mangos, papayas and other fruits we hadn’t seen in our own stores.

As the weeks went along in our trip, we started realizing that we also were emitting that same wonderful tropical smell. We were thrilled! We were becoming Jamaican and felt a part of that wonderful land.

When we came upon a verse in the Bible that spoke of our experience, we laughed out loud. Second Corinthians 2:15-16 says, "For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to the one an aroma from death to death, to the other an aroma from life to life. And who is adequate for these things?" (NASB)

Just as we acquired our unique body smell from eating the fruits and vegetables of our host land, we each should "smell" like our Heavenly Father as we abide in Him and feed on Him through His Word.

How’s your "fragrance" these days? Let’s make sure we are giving off a sweet aroma that brings glory to God.

I'm writing this on the 34th anniversary of the day I received Christ into my life. I still vividly remember that Sunday morning of October 1st when I recognized that I really wasn't a Christian. I needed to ask Jesus to forgive my sins and come dwell within my heart. When I did, I knew He had become my Lord and Savior.

Now that it's been so many wonderful years of walking with the Lord, I find value in remembering what I felt like before that wonderful day. So often I can take my Christian blessings for granted because I've forgotten what I left behind.

For instance, before I was born again in God's forever family, I was constantly discouraged because it seemed like I never could do things well enough. I felt heavy hearted because I really thought I could get my life together by myself. Even as an 18-year-old, I really thought I should be able to make better choices all the time and respond to other people with love and grace. I really put some heavy expectations on myself, didn't I?

Now I know that perspective came from my perfectionism. I haven't been cured from it, but what a difference in knowing God loves me unconditionally and I don't have to earn His love--because that is what I was trying to do through my good behavior.

Another related feeling was feeling condemned. Because I couldn't become perfect, I wondered if there was much hope for me to succeed. Yet, God has given me a sense of hope. He never gives up on me. What a relief to no longer feel those condemning feelings. Or if I do, I know I can identify them as Satan's wrong thoughts. There's such freedom from condemnation.

Another thing I never want to take for granted is a sense of peace. Before October 1st, 1967 , I didn't have much peace. I wondered about, even feared, the future, and was concerned about my place in the world. Now, of course, I have such purpose and passion in the things I do, guided by God's Spirit.

Do you remember what it was like before you knew Christ? How has He made a difference?

"Mommy, I’m ready to go over to Irene’s!" I cried out. I had my stuffed animal, pajamas and toothbrush! It was going to be my first overnighter at my best friend, Irene’s house, across the street. I could hardly contain my excitement. I felt like such a big girl to be able to spend the night at someone else’s house. A big step for a first-grader!

My mother accompanied me across the street and Irene and I had a great time that evening and didn’t go to sleep until late. The next morning, we woke up, played with our dolls for awhile and then I packed up my stuff in my little duffel bag.

Irene’s mom peeked into Irene’s room and noticed I was packing up my belongings. "Kathy, you’re not going without eating breakfast, are you?"

I’d forgotten about breakfast, but it just didn’t seem right to both spend the night and have breakfast. Wasn’t that too much to ask? Did I deserve that much joy? I just couldn’t receive the second part of the gift, so I answered, "Thank you, Mrs. Luna, but I have to go home."

"Oh, we had the best time playing. But I’m hungry. Can I have a bowl of cereal?"
My mother looked at me quizzically. "Kathy, didn’t they give you breakfast?"

Oh, oh. I made a mistake. I shyly explained, "I didn’t think I was supposed to spend the night and have breakfast too."

My mom laughed gently and said, "Yes, honey, it would have been fine to have both."

She fixed me a bowl of cereal and I thought deeply about how I could have enjoyed another good thing if I’d accepted it. I loved Mrs. Luna’s freshly made tortillas. I missed out!

Since then, I’ve thought of that experience many times and can easily find a spiritual application. At times I come to God with my thanks for all He’s done for me, but somehow feel that I don’t really deserve anything more. And I can also come asking for help in a struggle and find that He strengthens me. But sometimes I’m only willing to accept a small slice of that help instead of receiving as much as I need for full victory. In both cases, it’s overwhelming to think that He loves me that much to give me both the "overnighter" and breakfast too.

What are you feeling awkward about receiving from God’s hand? Help? Blessings? Affirmations? Love?

"We should give God the same place in our hearts that he holds in the universe." — Cicero

The sun peeked softly from behind the drapes and I stretched, throwing the bedcovers off. "Oh, god of the day, cause this day to go smoothly," I prayed.

Moments later, I shuffled into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. I mentally rehearsed my speech for the morning meeting. "Oh, god of intellect, help me to remember it."

As I braved the traffic on the way to the office, I gripped the steering wheel and griped all the way. Then I fearfully remembered the wrath of the god of traffic from the traffic accident I’d had last month. Penitently, I cried out, "Oh, god of traffic, I’m sorry. If I’ve displeased you, I apologize. You are always good."

Walking into the office, my secretary looked up from her desk, startled. "Oh, I’ve got bad news. Your contact for your sales meeting this afternoon canceled. He’s going to buy from Phillips’ Industries instead."

I gave her a withering look. I knew it wasn’t her fault, but I sure couldn’t blame the god of business, otherwise he’d get back at me another way. "I must have displeased him in some other way. Now what did I do? Oh, that must be it: I didn’t ask him to be in charge of the day. Now I know he’s more powerful than the god of the day, so I’ll have to pray to him first when I wake up."

I slammed my briefcase down on the desk and vowed to try to remember the pecking order of the gods so that nothing else bad would happen that day.

Can you imagine living like that? Although it seems impossible to our modern minds, if God had not revealed Himself and the old beliefs had continued to this day, that is exactly how you and I may have wound up today:

You and I don’t have to and neither does God want us to live like that. He prevented us from doing so by revealing Himself and saying, "I’m the only God there is."

That is the essence of the First Commandment. When a person believes in many gods, he can be sent in many directions all at once. But when a person believes in the Christian God who isn’t subject to mood swings and has only one will, that person doesn’t have to wonder whether what will please him at one point will continue to please Him. What a relief!

(The above article is from Kathy's book, Since Life Isn't a Game, These Are God's Rules--available on the Products page.)

My husband, Larry, and I recently had the privilege of visiting Moscow ,

Russia, and we had many wonderful adventures. The sad thing about our trip was seeing the faces of the Russian people. For the most part, they walked down the streets and rode the subway with stressed, unhappy looks on their faces. There was a real lack of hope and joy.

Friends who have stayed in the homes of Russian people in Moscow have told us that within their homes, they are friendly, but we didn't see it as we walked along the streets of Moscow.

At one point, we asked Igor, who was one of our drivers, "You say the Russian people know who the Americans are. How can you tell?"

That reminded me that everyone should be able to tell we're Christians by the look of joy on our faces.

Larry and I just returned from visiting friends in Moscow, Russia, and it was an incredible experience. We were able to see some incredible sights and of course, among them, magnificent churches. Often, the current Tsar would have a church built in honor of God's help during a victorious battle and the walls would be painted with scenes from stories in the Bible. Our tour guide explained that since many of the people could not read or didn't have access to a Bible, the painted pictures served as a graphic reminder of the lessons from the Bible. That made me very grateful that I am able to read the Bible for myself and understand it. What a wonderful reminder to not take God's Word for granted.

At another cathedral, the guide pointed to a portion within the sanctuary that was a two step dais surrounded by heavy velvet drapes on three sides. He explained that the reigning Tsar stood there during the services to represent how he was two steps closer to God than the common people.

Of course you know what that brought to my mind: how grateful I am that God regards all of us on equal ground. And in the Body of Christ, we all are of equal value and have equal power to serve God for whatever He has called us. Even though at times we each can feel unworthy or inadequate to serve Him—like the "ear" described in 1 Corinthians 12:16—God looks at all of us equally and encourages us to serve Him in whatever ways He desires.

Some time ago when I arrived at our local regional park. I had come prepared with the six quarters necessary to deposit into the machine that controlled the mechanical arm blocking the way to the entrance of the park. I deposited the six quarters, and looked forward, anticipating the mechanical arm to raise. Much to my surprise, I realized there was no mechanical arm at all attached to the machine. It had been removed for some reason. Nothing had prevented me from entering the park all along.

That’s just like we perfectionists who are very good at depositing our quarters of good works in an effort to earn entrance into God's love. "Here, God, is my quarter of loving that person I hate. Do you love me now?"

"Here, God, is my quarter of having my devotional time today. Do you love me now?"

"Here, God, is my quarter of serving in the nursery even though I would rather go to the service. Do you love me now?"

We put in our quarters, while all along, the mechanical arm that should block us from God's love is not there. Jesus died on the cross in our place and has shattered the obstacle to God's unconditional love. Instead of putting in the quarters, we can move forward into experiencing God's love.

Certainly, God does want us to obey him, to love others, to have our quiet time with him, and to serve in our church. But those things should be done out of our love for him—not as a means of earning his love and our entrance into heaven.

Are you willing to give up depositing your quarters trying to earn God's love? He wants you to know his incredible, unconditional love so that you no longer have to feel like he doesn't approve of you. He loves you and wants only the best for you.

We recently landscaped our front and back yards from scratch and it has been an exciting transformation. But guess what comes with beauty? Weeds! Even though we had the yard poisoned several times over several months, oxalis is rearing it's ugly head regardless. As I was out in the yard pulling weeds yesterday, I saw so many spiritual applications to gardening.

First, even though we did that poisoning, it didn't make the yard free from future weeds. And like the Christian life, our first repentance doesn't mean we'll never sin again. Weeds (sin) just keep coming up and we need to keep confessing and re-committing ourselves to righteousness.

Then I noticed that where there was a lot of soft soil, it was much easier to pull out the weeds. Sometimes I didn't even need to use the spade to get to the bottom of the root. And similarly, when we have a soft, teachable—and humble—heart towards the Lord, He doesn't have to dig as deeply to pull out those nasty tendencies toward sin and disobedience. But when pride and stubbornness refuse to agree with His definition of sin, He must work hard to pull those roots of bitterness, worry, distrust, or lack of self control from deep within our souls.

Since I haven't pulled weeds for quite a while, it's obvious that the ones that have been growing longer have the deepest roots and are harder to pull out. The new ones are easy.

Likewise, if we let roots of any sin grow deep by refusing to see our error, they are more difficult to get rid of. But if we will quickly acknowledge our sin and pull out wrong ideas about God, distrust of Him, and any temptations, we will stay free of the spiritual oxalis.

How's your spiritual garden these days? What weeds need to be pulled out? Entrust yourself to God's gentle prodding of His Spirit.

"Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were entreating through us, we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God." 2 Corinthians 5:20.

It’s sobering to think that you and I are always a representative—an ambassador. I recently drove home from speaking at a women’s retreat and followed a slow moving car down the winding mountain road. The slower the car went, the more I fumed.

When I finally passed the car, I glared at the driver. Then it hit me! "I wonder if they attended the retreat? Am I only kind and good when I’m being watched?" I confessed my anger. Thankfully, the people in the car didn’t even look over at me. God had been merciful.

At times, an ambassador from another country will be interviewed on a news program. I make the assumption that his statements represent the ruler of his country and the attitudes of the people living there. When unbelievers hear what you and I say as Christians—as ambassadors of Christ’s kingdom—they assume we represent Jesus’ views.

A child hearing the verse, "We are made a spectacle... to angels and to men" (1 Cor. 4:9 KJV) prayed, "O Lord, please keep your spectacles clean so that sinners can see you through us, ‘cause you know, Lord, we are your spectacles."

Although that word doesn’t actually refer to eyeglasses, that child’s interpretation does remind us that we are always His ambassadors wherever we are.

Seated at the table with seven other women from the women’s retreat where I was speaking, I enjoyed visiting with these young moms. Each one introduced herself and then we started talking about the gift of hospitality. Sarah spoke up and motioned to the woman beside her, "Natalie has the most amazing gift of hospitality. Her husband must have had it in mind when he built their huge house. She just makes everyone feel welcome."

The women nodded their agreement. Then another friend of hers offered, "Natalie’s house is so inviting, you’d never guess it’s 6,500 square feet."

Then Ginny spoke up. "It was so funny the other day. My young son, Kyle, and I were driving home from Natalie’s house after he had played there that day, and somehow we got on the subject of who was rich. I asked him, ‘Who do you think is rich?’ and I mentioned several friends, including Natalie. For each one, he said they weren’t rich. Then I mentioned my sister-in-law who is definitely not rich and she has a 1,400 square foot home. But Kyle said she was rich!

"When I asked him why he thought that, he replied, ‘Because she has a Play Station.’"

We all laughed. Talk about a perspective of priorities. To Kyle, whatever was important to him made a person rich.

And aren’t we all like that? Each of us has different priorities and a definition of wealth. Which just means we each can feel wealthy in whatever circumstance we are. There will always be someone with more money –and with less. How blessed we are if we’re content with what we have.

She sat across from me at the writers conference as we discussed her book project and how she could get it published. She had shared with me how her husband was a retired army colonel. The Lord seemed to nudge me, "Tell her thanks for her sacrifice."

I've frequently expressed my appreciation to those who I encounter who are in the military, having even had everyone in the military or married to a military serviceman stand up in my presentations to be acknowledged with applause. So it wasn't an unusual nudge from the Lord but the response I received was much more than I expected.

"Marian, I just want to tell you how much I appreciate your husband serving us in the military and I thank you for your sacrifice because of that."

Marian stared at me and then her eyes filled with tears. As she held back sobs, she whispered, her voice thick, "And my children…"

She continued to stare at me as tears dribbled down her cheeks. Finally, she wiped away the tears and could say, "Kathy, no one has ever thanked me for being a military wife in all the forty years my husband has served. Thank you."

That experience often makes me reflect on whether I'm expressing gratitude to my loved ones.

How about you? Are you thanking the important people in your life? Maybe some perfectionist tendencies prevent you from expressing that gratitude. Often that happens when we think, "If I express my gratitude, they will stop trying." Or, "If I say thanks they'll think they did an adequate job and I really want them to do better next time."

But gratitude for whatever or however someone has helped us or been important to us will inspire them to succeed and excel next time—not hamper their response.

When Larry and I were vacationing in Europe, we toured in Rhodes,

Greece, and noticed little shrines at the side of the road. Our guide explained that each shrine honored a child killed in a car accident at that spot. Of course, we see the similar thing on our roads but these shrines were different. They were permanently built little buildings around 3 feet tall which contained an oil lamp that was refilled every Saturday. Often, there would be a picture of the child within the box along with flowers. The parents wanted to warn other teenagers to drive more slowly.

I appreciated the parents' pure motive, but I also wondered whether you and I have shrines in our hearts at times commemorating the hurt that people have given us. Do we keep "feeding" fuel into the oil-burning lamp of bitterness or are we willing to forgive and let go of the hurt others have caused us?

It was a dream trip come true. Larry and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary with a trip to Europe and touring Italy was one of the highlights. As we drove along in the bus, we saw field after field after field of sunflowers. After seeing so many, I began noticing that the faces of the sunflowers faced in the same direction--all of them! I was amazed! Time after time, every sunflower plant was facing in the same direction: toward the sun!

I asked our tour guide, Luisa, about that. "Oh, yes," she enthusiastically commented in her delightful Italian accent, "the sunflower plant follows the sun all day long across the sky." Then she explained that the sunflowers are grown for their oil. When I mentioned that we also eat the sunflower seeds, she was surprised. "No, we don't do that!"

As we continued driving, I kept staring at the sunflowers following the sun as the day progressed. "That's supposed to be like us," I mused. "We're supposed to follow Jesus, the Son, as we go along and keep our eyes on Him."

The next day, an overcast sky blocked the sun's rays. I exclaimed to Larry, "The sunflowers are still facing the sun even though the clouds are blocking the sunlight. We're supposed to follow Jesus even when dark times and temptation block our complete view of Him. Even when we feel alone and abandoned, we can know Jesus is behind the dark clouds of life and we can follow Him anyway." Larry nodded his agreement.

Like the sunflowers, are you facing and following the Son Jesus today? Even if difficult times are blocking view of Him, trust that He's there and His rays are reaching you with His warmth. He loves you!

For many years my attitude about stress was, "One of these days I’ll get rid of all my stress." Then I realized that the only people who have no stress are six feet under ground! Since then my goal has been to prevent stress from becoming distress. Stress is being bombarded by life’s circumstances but still being able to trust God in the midst of it. Distress is when we no longer are looking to God to strengthen us in the midst of those trials or disappointments.

Every one of us should set goals but if we don’t recognize the difference between goals and desires, we may experience an unhealthy dose of distress. Goals are ideals we’re striving toward that we can indeed have control over and meet. Desires are those ideals we don’t have control over.

For instance, as a freelance writer, I may have a "goal" of becoming a best selling author, but I can’t make that happen. I can desire to have a best selling book and do everything in my power to research what could sell well, write the best book I can, and market it through radio and TV programs, but I can’t control whether it will actually sell well enough to be a best seller. If I remember that my desire is a best seller and then make my goals be the research, writing and marketing to the best of my ability, I’ll have reached a worthy goal and won’t experience undue distress.

Most parents have a goal of raising emotionally healthy children, but that’s not a goal--it’s a desire. I can set goals like spending quality and quantity time with my children, teaching them values and holding them accountable for disobedience. If I meet those goals, there’s a good chance they’ll grow up to be emotionally healthy, but no guarantee. By focusing on what I actually have control over, I’ll diminish distress in my life.

I have a hard time saying no! As a child, I didn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings and wanted everyone’s approval. As a result, I was usually distressed out because I was trying to please everyone and didn’t have enough time or energy to be everything to everyone.

Since then I’ve learned a phrase that set me free: "a need is not necessarily a call." I like to rephrase it as, "An opportunity is not necessarily God’s open door." Just because I hear of a need doesn’t mean God is calling me to respond to it. I’d begun to put that idea into practice when I heard of a need: the reorganization of a church group whose leadership had all resigned. I went to the meeting but emotionally had to sit on my hands, for fear I’d raise them to volunteer for all sorts of things. But I didn’t think this was where my strengths would best be used so I kept telling myself, "God hasn’t called me to this."

Evidently everyone else had heard of that same idea because no one volunteered for anything! Two weeks later, I heard of an opportunity that was exactly right for my talents and I became involved. I was so glad I hadn’t volunteered at the previous meeting because I would have been distressed trying to fulfill both. Later I heard that a group of volunteers had stepped forward to carry on the work of the first group, even though they hadn’t been at the reorganization meeting.

What area are you feeling distressed about? Your goals or time pressures? Are there different choices you could make that would diminish your distress to turn back to just normal stress? What will you do to make your perspective different?

"I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God’s hands, that I still possess." Martin Luther

We had made a major purchase from a Christian business. Later, they informed us they couldn’t supply the item and promised a refund. When we didn’t receive the refund after repeated requests, I was furious. I couldn’t believe that God would want His money treated this way.

One day as I had my devotions, my thoughts again turned to the situation. I wrote in my journal, "This is a test of whether we are stewards or owners of God’s money. Father God, this is not hidden from Your sight and neither are Your eyes closed and uncaring. Thank you that I can surrender this to You."

I decided to find a verse to memorize so that when my anger welled up again, I could meditate on that verse. The Lord whispered in my heart, "Look at Jeremiah 17." At first I resisted because I knew that passage didn’t deal with this situation. But when He whispered it again, I turned there. At the top of that page, a verse I’d marked in yellow many years earlier caught my eye. "My eyes are on all their ways; they are not hidden from me, nor is their sin concealed from my eyes." (Jeremiah 16:17 NIV)

Those were some of the very words I’d just written in my journal! God was telling me that He truly was aware. In time, we did receive the refund, but God had already done the important part: helping me to release God’s money.

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money." Matthew 6:24 (NIV)

"O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God!" Romans 11:33.

On Sunday, the last day of the women’s retreat where I was a speaker, I autographed books. Kris bought a copy of my book, God’s Vitamin "C" for the Spirit, and I began autographing when she exclaimed, "Wait! I want it autographed for a friend."

I’d written down "Kris," so I put that book aside and autographed another for her friend. Later when I packed, I put the "mistake" book in my briefcase. It lay on the front seat of the car as I drove home.

There were two different routes I could take, but remembering a drive-through hamburger place, I decided to drive that way and stop for a drink.

Pulling up beside the drive-in window, I ordered and gave the young woman my money. She remarked, "You’re dressed up. Did you just come from church?"

We talked briefly about the Lord and He whispered in my heart, "Give her the ‘autographed’ book."

An unexpected thought popped into my mind. Wouldn’t it be a coincidence if her name is Kris? Oh, what would be the chance of that?

The woman came back to the window and handed me my drink. I spoke up. "I’m an author and I’d like to give you a copy of my book. What’s your name?"

I laughed and explained the situation. "I guess God wants you to have this book."

Some time ago I was waiting in the airport for my next connecting flight, minding my own business while enjoying reading my novel. I looked up and noticed a small food counter nearby where a woman was serving customers. I continued reading when unexpectedly the Lord’s still small voice within my heart whispered, "Go talk to that woman behind the counter about Me."

My reaction was unfortunately one that I usually made: "Oh, Lord, you know I don’t like doing things like this. Please! No!"

Well, that wasn’t very original! I still wasn’t convinced I wanted to go and tried reading my book again. But I knew He wouldn’t let me rest so I gathered my things together and got at the end of the line for the counter.

I was amazed that by the time all the customers in front of me had been helped, no one had gotten in line behind me. When I faced the woman at the counter, I gulped and shot an arrow prayer, "OK, Lord, here we go."

I spoke up. "M’am, I know this will sound strange, but God wanted me to tell you He loves you."

The woman’s face seemed to harden for a second. "Oh, no, Father, what have you gotten me into now?" I cringed.

But then suddenly, her face softened and tears welled up in her eyes. She stared at me in surprise and said, "Oh, my husband recently died and I’d begun to believe God didn’t love me. Thanks for telling me that."

I ordered my iced tea and she began sharing her hurt and pain with me. As I went to the side of the counter to mix in the sweetener, she followed me over and again thanked me for reaffirming her belief in God’s great love.

I was amazed that no one came up to the counter as the room was full of people. God had opened a door of opportunity and I was so glad I hadn’t refused His prompting.

As I looked across the front seat of my black and white unit, I observed the uniform of the 1970's middle-class Southern California teen: tie-dyed T-shirt, bell-bottom pants and a pair of sloppy plain-toed boots with heels worn down a half inch. His long hair flowing past his shoulders was the only evidence that he could grow any, since it was obvious a razor had never touched his chin.

Jeffrey was what we called a civilian ride-along, a high school boy getting his first look at what it meant to be a policeman. I had been a policeman for the Downey, California, Police Department for several years, yet I never knew what kind of shift I’d have. That hot Indian summer's night in September, sixteen-year-old Jeffrey would experience the ride of his life. But the beginning of the watch didn't give us a clue of what would follow.

Though in general I didn't want to endanger such a temporary companion on his night to ride along, I was secretly a bit disappointed that tonight's calls hadn't been very challenging or exciting. I wondered if Jeffrey thought the only thing policemen did was to respond to ordinary calls right through dinner time.

However, during a slight lull, we quickly ducked into a hamburger place. But just as we were getting back into the car with our food, my radio crackled to life as the dispatcher gave me a call.

"Unit 31, and any units to assist, a two-eleven in progress. Two suspects armed with sawed-off shotguns at the Circle K Market."

Jeffrey looked over at me, wide-eyed, and said, "Is that an armed robbery call?"

"You bet, and we're going to be first in. When we get there, stay in the car and keep your head down."

Quickly jerking the car into gear, I squealed out of the fast food restaurant's parking lot with a lurch, then flipped on the lights and siren as we flew to the scene. I reached over and handed my drink to Jeffrey, saying, "Don't spill this. I've got to finish this hamburger before we get there." Then I took a big bite out of the hamburger I held in my right hand as I drove with my left. Cars in front of us pulled over to the side to avoid us slamming into them. At one point as I rounded a corner, it felt like the car only rode on two wheels.

I'll never forget the look on this kid's face. His eyes seemed to want to pop out of his head and he had the most incredulous, fearful, and stunned look on his face as he watched me drive at high speed to this call. It was almost comical how he would look down at my coke, look up and stare at the road, glance over at me again and look back down at the glass in his hand. He was totally bewildered and on sensory overload. Unlike me, he was stressed out. Looking back now, I think he feared spilling the drink, wondering what I might do to him if he did. Jeffrey couldn't grasp the fact that my training and experience allowed me to function with great calm in an arena of extraordinarily high stress.

Jeffrey appeared visibly relieved when we arrived at the scene and the owner of the store came running out, shouting, "They just went southbound around the corner in a blue Ford pickup."

Just then two more units arrived and I directed them to give chase. I remained at the scene and obtained a detailed description of the suspects and took the crime report. We never did find the suspects.

Jeffrey couldn't quite comprehend it--or totally trust it--but a policeman's training and experience prepares me to function capably and effectively on the street in tense circumstances. Similarly, as Christians, our spiritual training is meant to provide us with the ability to function with godly reactions under extraordinarily high stress. Hopefully, like my ride-along Jeffrey, looking with awe at my quick reactions, unbelievers will look with respect at our Christian maturity and desire to know the same God who is the source of our godly behavior.

My fifteen-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Darcy, was going through a rebellious time. She had always been strong-willed and her teenage years were the epitome of her wanting-to-be-in-control viewpoint of life. She had begun talking on the phone with a seventeen-year-old friend from school about his girlfriend quite regularly. At times he would take her out to talk about his problems. Before we knew it, Darcy had become the new girlfriend, even though she wasn’t supposed to date until she turned sixteen.

Whenever my husband, Larry, and I reminded her of our rule, she turned surly and argumentative. Every evening that she left, she shouted at us, "You want to know why I’m leaving all the time? I hate being here. I can’t wait until I turn 18, I’m outta here!"

I was stunned by her behavior. Why is she so angry at us? What is going on in the relationship between this boy and Darcy? Is she staying true to the purity we taught her? Time and again we tried to reach out to her. I felt worried and helpless; nothing seemed to make any difference. Each time we tried to talk to her, she closed off emotionally and wouldn’t respond.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only worry we were facing at that time. A mole on Larry’s chest had been growing and changing color. Our doctor, Dr. Hanson, examined it and said it could be melanoma—the deadliest kind of skin cancer. That struck a fearful chord within us since a good friend of ours had died of melanoma three years earlier. Dr Hanson removed the mole and sent it to the lab for a biopsy. We waited, wanting to believe the results would be negative but knowing in our hearts it was cancer. The test results confirmed it was melanoma. Within a few days, more tissue would have to be removed to determine if the cancer had gone inside his body.

"Is Larry’s life in danger? Will I become a widow at such an early age?" I wondered. I prayed over and over again, "Lord God, I don’t want to lose my best friend." We were shaken, worry tried to turn my wondering into fear, yet God gave us a peace that we could trust His plan for Larry’s life.

After the additional tissue was removed and sent for testing, we again waited for the test results. As we did, Darcy’s rebellious attitude continued to create additional tension in our family. One evening, Larry and I decided we had to try again to reach out to her. Calling her into our bedroom, we asked her to sit in the chair while we sat against the headboard on our bed. As soon as Darcy sat down, she crossed her arms and glared at us, seemingly defying us to break through her cold and distant perspective.

"Darcy, honey, we love you," Larry began. "We want to know what’s going on so that we can work through our differences."

Darcy sat immobilized, her face just as impassive as ever. I spoke up, "Darcy, we really do want to talk this out. We love and care about you. Please let us know how you’re feeling and what the problem is." Darcy still sat silent, her lips pursed in defiance.

Larry and I looked at each other feeling hopeless and helpless. "Oh, God," I prayed silently. "Please help us. What will get through to her?"

Larry and I continued to talk to Darcy. Then without any explanation, her face softened, her arms came down and she began talking to us. We were thrilled! For forty-five minutes we talked and talked. We found out she wanted to keep a pure relationship with that boy and that her values were similar to ours. As we all talked, Larry and I shot glances at each other with a look that questioned, "Why is she finally talking with us?" We had no idea.

When we were finished, Darcy stood up and walked over to the bedroom door. She put her hand on the knob, opened it slightly and then hesitated. She looked back at us with a confused look and said, "I don’t know why I’m talking to you like this." Then as if the reason had occurred to her, she continued, "But it’s because Daddy has cancer."

God had used for good what we thought could never be used for good: cancer. As a strong-willed teenager, the Lord knew that only something as severe as possibly losing her Daddy to cancer would make her see life with a different perspective. Darcy never returned to that state of rebellion and today we all have a fantastic relationship. She is a college graduate, a delightful young woman who loves God, and the co-author with me in a book, Staying Friends With Your Kids (Harold Shaw Publishers).

We rejoice that Larry has been free of melanoma for over eleven years. God knows how to work in people’s lives and we’ve seen that to be true in our family.

As He has so faithfully shown us many times before, He "causes all things to work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28 ).

Since then, I’ve claimed that promise over and over again as a solution to worry. Even if what I worry about comes true, God promises to use it for good. Therefore I don’t have to worry because it’s really all in God’s plan and purposes.

Several years ago, when my son, Mark, was 14, I faced the challenge of releasing him to fly alone for the first time from California to Florida to attend a Christian golf camp. As I explained how he should find his connecting flight in Dallas, Mark brushed me off by saying, "I know, Mom, I’ll be okay." I didn’t think he knew at all how to "read" the arrival/departure monitor. Dallas was a huge airport, often requiring a long walk to a distant gate. "He’ll never find the correct gate," I moaned to myself.

Several hours later, about the time Mark would arrive in Dallas, I felt tension seep into my neck muscles. I knew the phone would ring any moment with Mark telling me he had missed his connecting flight.

As I tried to keep busy doing housework, I suddenly sensed God whisper in my heart, "You want him to fail, don’t you?"

I couldn’t believe that was true. What kind of mother would want that? But God persisted, "You want to be needed. Let him need Me instead."

I was shocked. But soon realized it was true. I wanted to be a part of his life--even in this situation. Needing me to help him would make me feel important and included.

That evening, the phone rang and it was Mark--in Florida. He had arrived safely. "Did you have trouble finding your connecting flight?" I asked him nervously.

"No, Mom," he replied matter-of-factly. "It was directly across from the gate where I arrived."

I fell silent. God had provided for him and I had unexpectedly learned the blessing of releasing my son to God’s loving care.

"Beep." The alert tone blasted through my unit radio as I drove down the business district of Firestone Boulevard in Downey, California. I was a fairly new policeman on the Downey Police Department but I knew enough: a hot call would follow that tone.

"Woman with gun holding mother-in-law and family hostage," the dispatcher's voice announced.

I arrived first, but waited until three other policemen rolled up. We cautiously approached the apartment building, but when we turned one corner near the apartment, we froze. There was the woman at the door with a handgun. She was pointing it into the room at someone I couldn't see because of the doorway. When she saw me, she turned the gun toward me and the other three policemen behind me.

A heavy-set woman in her fifties, dressed in a bold flowered print muumuu, her hair was unkempt and greasy-looking. "Go ahead and shoot me!" she screamed as she waved the gun in my direction. "I don't care. Shoot me!"

Fear raced through my whole being. This is the first time someone's ever shoved a gun in my face, I thought. I don't get paid enough to do this! But my training took over simultaneously.

My gun was already drawn, so I had two choices: shoot first and then take cover, or take cover and then shoot. My uppermost thought was to get out of the kill zone. I dove for the floor near the corner of the doorway and like dominoes, the officers behind me followed suit. Within a second, the four of us pointed our guns at her in a Mexican standoff situation.

Her screaming continued with threats and obscenities. She persistently yelled at the person inside, "Where's your son? Where is that terrible husband of mine? I want to talk to him! I'm gonna wait till he gets here."

Obviously, her mother-in-law was inside but we couldn't see her or what was going on inside the apartment. Seconds later, her attention was directed to us again and she shrieked, "Shoot me! Go ahead and shoot me!"

The situation was out of control. She was becoming more frenetic and increasingly reckless as she waved the gun between us and the other woman. It was obvious she had been drinking and was becoming more enraged. At any moment she could shoot her mother-in-law or several of us because of her intensifying rage and the alcohol in her system.

Too many lives were at stake and the point of no return had been reached. I believed I was duty bound to take her life. My finger squeezed against the trigger as I aimed my gun at her chest.

Then I observed an older woman dart into view. It must be the mother-in-law, I reasoned. Suddenly the mother-in-law grabbed at the gun but the woman wouldn't let go. As they struggled, I thought, Oh no, this is getting worse. The woman still has the gun in her hand. When we saw the gun lifted toward the ceiling, we rushed into the apartment, threw ourselves at them, and knocked both women to the floor. All four of us desperately struggled to control her and seize the gun.

Amidst the shouting and maze of bodies, the gun went off. Then again. Where is that gun? I inwardly groaned. Two more rounds went off. Did anyone get shot? No one seemed to cry out in pain, so maybe the bullets had somehow missed. Then one of the other officers saw the gun, grabbed the woman's arm and wrestled the gun from her.

Within moments, the situation was brought under control. The woman was quickly handcuffed--even though she continued to shout and curse. As one of the guys took her off to jail, I looked around the small apartment and saw four bullet holes in a nearby wall. Thank God! No one got hurt, including me!

Several hours later after my afternoon-evening shift ended, I returned home. Kathy was already in bed reading. "Hi, Hon. How was your day?" she asked.

"Today was pretty wild," I replied. "We had a crazy woman waving a gun at us. It was hairy for awhile. Thankfully the bullets hit a wall and not one of us."

"Oh," I tried to think back. "It was around four-forty-five this afternoon. Why?"

"You are not going to believe this. At that very time the Lord impressed upon me that I should pray for your safety. And that's exactly what I did."

A flood of relief flowed over me as I thought of how close I'd come to being hurt. Thank You, Lord, that my wife obeyed you.

Unrealistic Goal	1% Principle
I will have a devotional time with God for one hour every day next week.	I’m going to spend 5 minutes with God two times next week.
I’m going to stop eating all sugar.	I’m going to limit sugar to one item per day.
I’m going to go to the gym every day this week.	My goal is to go to the gym two times next week.
I’m never going to get angry with my child again.	Since dinner time is the hardest time to be patient, I’m going to concentrate on staying calm on Tuesday next week and ask a friend to pray for me during that time.

I Should Have My Act Together by Now by Kathy Collard Miller

I Should Have My Act Together by Now
by Kathy Collard Miller